Of Desire, Jealousy and Hope
by TheTimeLadysWife
Summary: When Maura unexpectedly meets a tall, dark haired woman, her love for Jane is pushed aside... Rizzles endgame...but that doesn't mean we can't have fun making Jane jealous in the meantime right!
1. Leather and Lace

**_Chapter 1: Leather and Lace_**

Maura sat in a booth in the Dirty Robber, the one she usually shared with Jane, playing with her salad. How could Jane do this? She knew she should be happy for her friend, but she wasn't, the weight of that laying as heavy on her mind as the feelings of abandonment and betrayal. Nothing had passed between them, and they had both frequently dated men, but Maura thought there was an unspoken understanding between them, that their closeness meant something. And now Jane had agreed to marry Casey. Why would she do that? Maura just didn't understand. Especially considering the way Casey had proposed; saying that he would return to Afghanistan if she didn't agree to marry him was not exactly the fairytale proposal a woman, even one as tomboyish as Jane, would want. On the contrary, to Maura, it seemed somewhat manipulative.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw long firm legs, her heart leapt, thinking, for a second it was Jane. She looked up quickly and realised the legs belonged to a tall, dark haired woman she had never seen before. Intrigued Maura watched the woman as she walked towards the bar. The strange woman wore tight dark jeans, which accentuated her long legs and curvaceous hips, tucked in to knee length black boots. Maura admired the woman's well defined leg and posterior muscles as she continued to soak up the view before her. To complete her outfit the woman wore a black leather biker jacket. Maura liked leather, she liked the smell and the feel of it, its smooth malleable versatility and she totally understood its appeal as a fetish. Corsets, boots, gloves, jackets… all held some fascination for her. She'd tried to explain this to Jane once, but Jane didn't understand what exactly she was suggesting. Jane never understood.

She was sure that she wasn't imagining it, that there was a bond between them that went beyond mere friendship. She was sure that Jane felt the electricity as much as she did. But did she? It was all so confusing and tearing Maura apart. She didn't know what to do. If she told Jane how she felt and was wrong, she would lose her and she couldn't bear that. But if Jane did actually marry Casey, she would have lost her anyway; she couldn't sit back and watch the love of her life marry another, especially not one that treat her so badly. One that played with her feelings that controlled her and who smothered her fire. He said he loved her, but if he loved her, he wouldn't do those things; he would love everything about her, all her quirks and her, admittedly, frustrating habits, just as Maura did.

And Jane? She said she loved him, but did she really? She was happiest in their relationship when he was not actually there, his presence made her feel claustrophobic. She had said herself, only days since, that she couldn't be herself around him. What sort of a basis for a relationship was that? Nevermind a marriage! She didn't feel that way with Maura, she was absolutely comfortable with her, seeking out her company, even choosing to help Maura make arrangements for her grandfather's care, rather than spending the day with Casey. And, of course, there was that time with Giovanni; it was Jane that had told him they were a couple and who had held Maura so tight and lovingly, as if they actually were a couple. Maura remembered that day vividly, how right it had felt standing in Jane's arms while she explained to him how they were life partners.

It wasn't as if she hadn't had the opportunity to tell Jane how she felt about her, because she had. All those times they had comforted each other, the times they had shared a bed and Jane was so close that Maura could feel her breath in the darkness or the time they had talked about what their perfect woman would be like, if they were lesbians. But each time she couldn't do it, fear gripped her and she became awkward and blurted out whatever random information she could think of. Even so, Maura could see them being together, forever, and being a family. Jane looked so good with baby TJ in her arms; he made her glow in a way nothing else could. Maybe that was it? Casey would easily be able to give her babies in a way Maura could not. But surely that couldn't be it? Could it? Coming out of her reverie somewhat, Maura realised she was still staring at the beautiful stranger at the bar, the one that was so like Jane but was not, and for whom she felt an inexplicable attraction.

Louise felt Maura's gaze upon her as she sat down at the bar and ordered herself a beer. Glancing around she discovered who it was that was watching her so intently. As her eyes met those of the petite, sophisticated woman, she smiled. Louise revelled in the slight flush it elicited in the woman who smiled back. Louise turned back around and as she drank, she thought of Kathryn; her soul mate, her wife. It had been many months since her death, and Louise still felt her absence acutely. She glanced at the beautiful blonde once more, maybe it was time? Maybe this unexpected, unsought encounter was a sign?

Louise finished her beer and, summoning the barman, she ordered herself another and a glass of the red wine the blonde woman was drinking. She smoothed her long dark hair away from her face and turned to walk over to the booth. Louise placed the wine onto the table before the woman

"_You look like you could use another"_

She pointed at the seat:

_"May I?"_

Maura looked up into Louise's bright blue eyes and smiled:

_"Yes, of course"_

Louise sat opposite Maura and they fell into easy conversation. Maura was surprised by how comfortable she felt talking to Louise and by the obvious spark between them. It was something that she had never felt with another woman, except of course Jane.

It felt to Maura as if they had been talking for but a few minutes, when the barman called time and they had to leave. As she stood and wobbled on her black Louboutin stilettos, she realised how much time had actually passed, and how much wine she had drank. Suddenly feeling reckless, she swallowed her nerves and invited Louise to go home with her. An invitation Louise gingerly accepted.

As they walked onto the street to find a cab, Louise reached out and tentatively took Maura's hand in her own. A shiver of pleasure coursed through Maura's body; she turned her head to look at Louise, suddenly feeling shy:

_"Louise? I've...well...I've... I've never done this before"_

Louise stopped gazed, into Maura's eyes and spoke softly to her

_"That's ok...I have"_

She placed her free hand onto Maura's waist, leant in and slowly, gently kissed her.

**...**

Maura unlocked the door to her house, flicked the light switch and stood to one side to allow Louise to enter. She followed Louise into the light, sophisticated room. As she secured the door, Louise took hold of her arm, turned her and pushed her against the door. Maura gasped, as Louise pressed her lithe, strong body against her and kissed her again, passion shining in her eyes. As Louise's tongue laved Maura's yielding mouth, she snaked her arms around Louise's waist, pulling her closer. Finally they parted and Louise flashed Maura a wicked smile, full of the promise of what was to come.

Maura led Louise into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, taking out a bottle of wine while Louise removed her jacket:

_"Would you like a glass of wine, or I have some beer if you prefer?" _said Maura as she reached for a glass.

_"No, thank you, I think I've had enough for one night."_

Maura poured herself a glass and looked at Louise; desire and uncertainty vying for dominance. She took a sip and allowed her desire to take control:

_"Kiss me again Louise" _Maura whispered.

Louise, happy to oblige took a step forward, stroked Maura's face and pulled her into a strong, determined kiss. Maura marvelled at the incongruity of Louise's strength and gentleness and at the softness of Louise's lips against her own.

Cautiously, not wanting to rush the inexperienced woman in her arms, Louise slid her hand under Maura's white silk blouse and up her back, stopping just before her bra. She held her hand there for a few seconds as she trailed kisses down Maura's neck, then slid it back down and under the band of Maura's skirt. Maura moaned gently and Louise, taking this as a sign to carry on, moved her other hand from Maura's waist and up towards her ample breast.

Maura pulled away and Louise chided herself, thinking she had moved too fast, but Maura had other plans. She took Louise's hand and led her into her opulent bedroom..._"Wait here" _she commanded and left Louise alone in the room. Louise glanced around, not entirely sure what was happening, then sat down on the edge of Maura's bed and waited. When Maura returned a few minutes later, she had changed into a black satin robe which flowed like lava over her body, accentuating her every curve. Louise's breath caught as she watched Maura slowly walk towards her, her heart pounding in her chest. When she was just beyond Louise's grasp Maura stopped and slowly began to unfasten her robe. Louise watched as it fell to the floor taking in Maura's beautiful body; her smooth lightly tanned skin, her collar bones, the swell of her breast, the curve of her hips, and the neat downy triangle between her legs. She sighed, unable to believe her luck.

Maura took a single step forward and stopped once more, placing herself within Louise's grasp. Seizing the opportunity Louise reached out to hold Maura's hips, her thumbs caressing the sharp bones protruding from them and drew Maura closer. She placed her head onto Maura's stomach and inhaled the flowery fragrance of her skin, mingled with the musky scent of her arousal. Reaching down, Maura took hold of Louise's tight black vest and pulled it over her head to reveal a pink lace bra. Maura knelt and kissed Louise; the first she had initiated and ran her fingers through Louise's long black locks to hold her head and prolong their embrace. As one they moved to the centre of the bed and laying, side by side, they hungrily caressed every scrap of the other's skin. Louise unfastened her jeans and pushed them down, kicking them onto the floor, so that only her lacy underwear came between them. Gently she rolled Maura onto her back and knelt between her legs.

Louise's hands continued to cover Maura's entire body with their determined ministrations, finally coming to rest on Maura's breast. Louise's dexterous fingers squeezed Maura's pale pink nipples, eliciting a moan of pleasure from her. Louise smiled admiring the beautiful woman laid below her; her eyes closed and her dark blonde hair pooling around her head. Louise dipped her head, taking a now hard nipple into her mouth and carefully bit down. Every nerve in Maura's body was aflame with passion; a passion Louise stoked with every kiss and caress. No one had ever made Maura feel this way, the intensity of her need for Louise's touch held her in thrall. Maura tightened her grip on Louise and pulling her down wrapped her toned legs around Louise's hips. Feeling the extent of Maura's arousal and need, Louise pushed her hand down coming to a rest between Maura's legs; her fingers beginning to explore her lover's now drenched folds. Putting slight pressure onto Maura's entrance, she stopped, looking to Maura for permission to continue. Maura arched her back, lifting her hips to envelop Louise's fingers within her wet, tight cavern and releasing a moan of delight.

Louise didn't move, allowing Maura to set the rhythm with her thrusting hips, while she felt Maura's strong muscles griping her fingers ever tighter. Slowly she began to move her fingers in slow delicious circles within Maura, her thumb taking care of Maura's swollen cliterous. Maura's movements became increasingly desperate; her nails digging into Louise's back. Feeling how close to climax Maura was becoming, Louise withdrew her fingers eliciting an instinctive, disappointed whine from Maura:

_"Don't stop"_ she breathlessly pleaded

_"Oh, I'm not"_ Louise replied as she slid down Maura's body, slowly smothering her golden skin with kisses.

_"I just want to taste you"._

Maura threaded her fingers through Louise hair as she progressed downwards, willing every electrifying caress to reach its destination sooner.

Finally Louise's head reached Maura's pubic bone and she paused; Maura could feel Louise's breath intensely where it met her wetness, and she shivered in anticipation. Louise placed one final, lingering kiss onto Maura's mound before slipping her tongue down between her lips and a quiver of pleasure coursed through Maura's body at the gentle, tentative touch of Louise's tongue combined with Louise's soft smooth hair that deliciously tickled the inside of her thigh. Louise slid her hands under Maura's firm, smooth buttocks, raising them as her tongue lapped down towards Maura's entrance. Maura fingers, still tangled in Louise's hair, held Louise just where she wanted, needed her to be, as her breath once again began to come faster and her moans became louder. Louise pushed her tongue into Maura who let out an unrestrained cry, she was so close to her climax, nothing else mattered but the exquisite movement of Louise's experienced tongue and its delicious rhythm as it alternated between slipping inside of her and circling her clit, and the pressure of Louise's body creating electricity wherever, whenever it touched her own.

Louise moved her hand from Maura's buttock and slid her fingers once again deep inside her lover, freeing her mouth and tongue to concentrate their assault on Maura's swollen, hypersensitive clit. The additional sensation was enough to send Maura over the edge and she cried out as she found release. Louise smiled to herself, and began to make her way back up Maura's body, tasting the salt of Maura's sweat with every kiss along the way, until their lips met once more in a deep, relaxed kiss.

Louise wrapped her arms around the beautiful blonde below her and rolled them both to lie side by side. Maura nuzzled into Louise's neck contentedly and ran her free hand up and down Louise's side while her body returned to her control. Soon she buried her head into the curve where Louise's neck and shoulders met and began to nibble and suck. When Louise sighed Maura looked up into Louise's sparkling sapphire eyes and smiled, then pushed her over onto her back, her hip pressing down between Louise's legs:

"My turn" she purred coquettishly.

Maura had fantasised about making love to another woman many times and desperately hoped she wouldn't disappoint the more experienced Louise, but she knew exactly how a human body worked and that the best way to learn any new skill was to do it. She dipped her head and kissed Louise's welcoming lips in a slow passionate kiss. As she rubbed her body against Louise's, she wanted to move downwards, to lick Louise, to taste her, to make her scream, but the feel of Louise's smooth skin and firm breasts sliding against hers and Louise's wetness upon her hip as she moved beneath her captivated her and she could not escape the delicious rhythm. Louise held Maura, running her hands over her back and bum, pulling her closer so that every synchronised movement dug deeper into their cores, sending fireworks through their veins.

Louise gasped... "_Maura... please... inside..."_

Maura hesitated; she knew the anatomy, inside and out. She knew which parts were the most sensitive to the touch but still she was uncertain, what if she did it wrong.

_"Please Maura" _Louise gasped again

Maura stayed her grinding hips and pushed her hand down between their sweat soaked bodies, as her hand moved lower the constancy of the moisture began to change from the water of sweat to the slick, viscous fluid of their joint arousal and Maura's hand was engulfed by the heat they had created. Reaching the apex of Louise's sex Maura pushed her middle finger down into the crack to caress the soft folds within while her adjoining fingers stroked the outer lips. Louise moaned bucking her hips towards Maura's probing hand, her fingers poised on the brink of Louise's lips, feeling her hot, slickness, before pushing a single, exploratory finger deep inside and Louise moaned throwing her head back in delight. Spurred on by Louise's reaction Maura brought her fingers together to massage the delicate skin surrounding Louise's entrance before sliding two fingers inside with the firm yet gentle precision of the experienced physician she was.

Feeling Louise's strong muscles tighten around her fingers, Maura flexed and curled them rhythmically, and then continued to grind her hips against Louise's in an ever frenetic tempo, pushing her fingers deeper, harder with every thrust; her moans matching Louise's as they both approached climax. Louise's movements below her were becoming desperate, her back arched as Maura felt Louise's fingernails dig, exquisitely painful, in her back. Louise threw her head back and screamed as the powerful vibrations of orgasm racked her body.

The two women clung to each other, their hearts pounding from their pleasurable exertions as they collapsed into a spent heap. Maura smiled contentedly, she was home; this was where she belonged. Nothing had ever felt so right as it did right now.


	2. The Sleeping Beauty

_Author's note:_

_I'd like to say a few things about how I see Maura and as it is my story I have the artistic licence to interpret her in my way. If you don't like the way I write Maura, then that's fine, no one is making you read on, thanks for dropping by. So firstly, Maura is upset and angry with Jane and those emotions can change any of us. Secondly, Maura is an ISTJ (if you don't know what this means look up Myers Briggs Personality types), she is a pragmatist; she doesn't deal with emotion well and reacts practically to situations. So, she would easily be able to separate sex from love and she especially wouldn't (doesn't) believe in love at first sight, but wouldn't (doesn't) have a problem with having sex with someone after a very short period of time. Thirdly, she's 38 years old, she has enough life experience to know when to back off, especially when all the tangible messages (and she needs concrete, tangible evidence to make decisions) she's getting from Jane are that their friendship is just that, friendship. But we all know that's not the case don't we! Finally, Maura doesn't know how to ask for the things she wants, preferring to be kind and unimposing. Anyway….on with the story._

**_Chapter 2: The Sleeping Beauty_**

Maura woke, still entwined with Louise. As she stroked Louise's back, feeling the bones and muscles beneath, she thought of all that had occurred the night before and felt the familiar twinge of need in her core once more. She glance at the neon numbers of her alarm clock and sighed; 6am, she had to leave for work in a little over an hour, there just wasn't time. She gazed at the stunning woman in her arms and gently sighed again, duty called. Carefully, she extracted herself from Louise's embrace and headed to the bathroom to begin dressing for work.

In the bathroom Maura turned on the shower and stood looking at her reflection in the mirror while the water warmed up. Her makeup from the day before was still visible, her eyeliner creating dark smudges below her eyes. She raised her hand to rub it away and was hit by the smell of her Louise upon her fingers. She smiled, placed her fingers under her nose and inhaled deeply; again she felt the stirrings of desire as her body reacted to the memory of the night before. Reluctantly, Maura entered the shower, loath to wash Louise's scent from her skin. As the hot, relaxing water flowed over her skin she began to emerge from her sleepy, contented reverie but the ghost of Louise's touch upon her body remained.

Maura hadn't anticipated just how intoxicating sex with another woman would be, she had always been satisfied by her male lovers, but Louise had done much more than that. Was that because it was her first time with a woman? Would it always be as intense as it had been last night? Or was it just Louise? Maura didn't know and she wondered if Louise had had as good a night as she had or if she would want to see her again. Maura hoped that she would; now her latent cravings had been unleashed, she didn't want to have to rein them in once more and Louise seemed to be the perfect woman to help cultivate her blossoming libido.

Maura turned the tap to halt the flow of water and wrapped herself in a white fluffy towel before entering her dressing room. Looking through her underwear drawer she chose herself a sexy red bra and coordinating panties which matched her mood, both feminine and sensual and she decided to top them with a dark red shift dress. Finished with her morning beauty regime, Maura looked into the dressing room's full length mirror, checked herself from all angles and approved of the sight it reflected. After picking out some black patent Prada pumps, she moved to return to her bedroom and the slumbering Louise.

Louise was still asleep with the sheets draped around her waist exposing her breasts, her dark hair a stark contrast to the pure white pillows it cascaded off. Mesmerised, Maura watched Louise's chest rise and fall in time with each slow, deep breath and she instinctively bit her bottom lip. She considered waking Louise but couldn't bring herself to disturb the sleeping beauty so, after watching her sleep for a few more seconds; she went to make espresso for them both.

In the kitchen, Maura set the coffee machine working, then grabbed herself a glass of water and a banana to help combat her hangover, she knew that she should eat something more substantial, but she just couldn't face food right now. Pouring the hot black liquid into two small cups, she brought the coffee back to the bedroom and placed it on her dresser. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Maura stroked Louise's hair before bending to wake her with a kiss.

_"Hi" _Louise whispered sleepily.

_"I made us some coffee"_ Maura said suddenly feeling awkward as Louise stretched and sat up, making no attempt to cover her nakedness.

_"Thank you"_ she smiled.

_"I'm sorry I had to wake you, but I need to leave for work soon" _

_"That's ok; I understand...I had a really good time last night"_

_"I did too"_ Maura replied with a shy smile.

Maura finished her coffee in the kitchen while Louise washed and dressed and as she prepared the handbag she had chosen to match her shoes, an unwelcome thought seized her...Angela! She would be up and getting ready for work now too! What if she saw Louise! What if she told Jane! What if she did tell Jane? She had no reason to feel guilty, Jane had made it blatantly clear who she loved, and it wasn't her. Logically, Maura knew there was no hope of their being a relationship between them beyond the friends they already were. Jane's relationship with Casey may not be the ideal one Maura would have hoped for her friend to have; but it was the one she had chosen of her own free will. Maura accepted that and as painful as that truth was, she had to respect Jane's choice. And that meant moving on with her own life.

Louise emerged from the bedroom, looking as good, makeup-less and in the cold light of day as she had the night before. Maura had expected the morning to become increasingly uncomfortable, as it had done on the few other occasions she had brought someone home unplanned. But instead the two women slipped into the easy conversation which had exemplified their initial meeting, while she prepared to take Louise back to the Dirty Robber, where she had left her car.

Just as Maura feared, as they left the house to walk to her Prius, Angela appeared. She seemed surprised to see that Maura was not alone so early in the morning, but she greeted the women in her usual cheerful manner nonetheless. Maura wondered what Angela was thinking; usually the only person she invited to stay overnight was Jane, but she was sure she'd find out sooner or later, Angela was not renowned for her ability to remain uninformed. Especially when one of her children was involved, and unwittingly Maura had become one of Angela's children.

Maura arrived at work dead up 8am and, feeling nervous about bumping into Jane, went straight down into the morgue. She told herself for the thousandth time that she had nothing to feel guilty or uncomfortable about, that all she had done was meet someone that made her feel good and who she would like to get to know better. Of course, she may even be jumping the gun somewhat, as Louise and she had yet to arrange a second, or should that be first, date. But still she felt uncomfortable in a way that she never had done when she had dated a guy in the past, she wasn't sure how Jane would react to her best friend dating another woman, especially one that so undeniably resembled her and if she were entirely honest, Maura wasn't entirely sure how she felt about dating a woman herself, it had happened so sudden and unexpectedly but not unwelcomed.

Maura spent the morning catching up on paperwork from the day before in her office; a task that she would usually whizz through, but which today she struggled to complete. She just could not concentrate for more than a few minutes before she would drift off into a dream world; a world that was full of Louise: how she looked sheathed in the early light of day, how she smelt, how she felt as she moved beneath her, how she sounded and how she tasted as their bodies entwined. Twice she was startled by Susie coming in to give her updates on their current case; updates she forgot as soon as Susie had left and she returned to smiling vacantly at her blank computer monitor. Luckily there had been no autopsies she needed to perform herself so far today and her staff were more than capable of completing their tasks without her supervision.

By 12pm, Maura's slight hangover was demanding to be fed and despite being so far behind on her day's work, she relented and headed up to the Division One Cafe for lunch. As she studied the contents of the refrigerator, trying to decide whether or not to succumb to her body's carb cravings her cell phone vibrated and Maura's stomach gave a flip of excitement. Opening the text from Louise, Maura couldn't help grinning to herself:

_I had a great time last night. Can we do dinner tonight? _

Maura felt like a naïve teenager as she stared at her phone. She wants to go on a date….. With me! She thought with a thrill as she realised that the previous night could easily be more than a onetime thing, that Louise had actually enjoyed their time together and wanted to see her again. All she had to do was reply with a yes, the yes she so desperately wanted to give and take it from there. Yet something held her back. Nervousness? Most definitely, it was one thing to drunkenly take a lover, quite another to try to begin a relationship, which was something Maura had always struggled with. Once the initial attraction wore off, her dates would inevitably realise how weird she actually was; that her cute quirks were in fact rather annoying. And of course, that was on the occasions she had managed to attract someone that wasn't going to use her for her money and influence, try to kill her or frame her for murder. Oh and then there was Giovanni who had wanted to lick her face! Maura shuddered at the memory, despite having to concede that, scarily, that had been one of her more successful dates. But more than that, she was having difficulty with taking Jane out of the equation, despite reminding herself that Jane was never in the equation, that she had misread their tactile relationship as being more than friendship and that, had she had more experience of friendship on which to rely, she would have known that.

_"Hello Maura" _Angela said, appearing from nowhere. "_Having difficulty deciding what to choose?"_

_"Yes, I am. I am suffering from a mild case of Veisalgia, induced by an overindulgence of wine last night, resulting in the production of acetaldehyde, the toxic chemical produced when alcohol dehydrogenase breaks down alcohol in the liver, which can be neutralised by the amino acid, cysteine, found in large quantities in eggs. Also, I am likely to be suffering from hypoglycaemia, which is best counteracted by complex carbohydrates. However they are associated with weight gain…" _Maura rambled as she nervously slipped into what Jane called her Google talk.

_"So, ummm, you have a hangover and can't decide what to eat?" _Angela cautiously speculated, in a manner reminiscent of her daughter as she tried to decipher Maura's technical, scientific language.

_"Yes, I do" _Maura replied simply.

_"Ok…. Well officially breakfast is finished, but Mr. Stanley isn't here right now, so let's get you some eggs and toast, eating bread once in a while ain't gonna make you fat." _Angela offered as she took in Maura's appearance. Outwardly, she was as poised and perfectly dressed as she always was, but her eyes lacked their usual shine and she looked exhausted.

_"That would be lovely, thank you Angela" _Maura replied gratefully.

_"You look tired Maura, are you alright?" _

_"Yes, I just drank too much last night. Thank you for asking" _Maura replied evasively, although technically she didn't lie; other than her hangover she was physically fine.

_"Well, I'm here if there's anything you wanna talk about" _Angela gently pushed, knowing she had to deal with Maura in a more delicate manner than she would with Jane, as she walked away to begin cooking.

Back in the morgue, feeling much better and much clearer headed after her lunch, Maura decided that she would accept Louise's offer of dinner. What had she got to lose?

_I'd love to have dinner with you tonight. What did you have in mind?_ Maura replied to Louise's text.

Moments later, Maura's phone discreetly beeped once again and with it came Louise's reply.

_Do you like Cambodian food? I know this lovely little restaurant; The Elephant Walk, if you do?_

Maura knew the restaurant; she had been there with Jane after watching a Sox game at Fenway Park some months ago, Maura had found it charming but Jane hadn't liked it, so they had never gone back, even though Jane would have done if Maura had asked. After texting backwards and forwards several times, the women agreed on the restaurant and that Louise would pick Maura up at 7.30.

Maura's afternoon proceeded in a much more productive way than her morning had done and by 2pm she had almost completed all of her paperwork. All that is bar the report she needed to produce for Jane, which she procrastinated about beginning, even though Susie had given her the test results hours ago and she knew that Jane would be waiting for it. As if on cue Maura heard a familiar footfall approaching her office which she pretended not to hear, focusing instead on reading through an already perfect report.

_"Hey Maura" _Jane said as she gently knocked on the office door and walked in.

_"Oh hi Jane" _Maura smiled at her friend.

_"Have you got the test results back for the Ziga case yet?" _

_"Oh yes, sorry. Susie brought me them just before lunch and I forgot to let you know. The blood work results indicate the presence of both oxycodone and phenelzine in his system, the combination of which is likely to have caused serotonin syndrome. Although it is not possible to conclusively prove serotonin syndrome from laboratory tests alone, I am happy to conclude this is the likely cause of death and that, both drugs being present in his blood is suspicious. I will email my full report to you by the end of the day."_

_"Great, thanks Maur. Do you want to go for a drink after work? Frost, Korsak and Frankie are coming too." _Jane asked hopefully. She hadn't seen Maura, other than in a professional capacity since Monday, when she had told her about her decision to marry Casey and she had missed spending time with her. The strain between them was palpable and Jane did not understand why, she thought Maura would be happy about her decision, after all Maura knew how difficult a decision it had been for her to make.

_"Oh, I can't tonight Jane" _Maura replied.

_"Hot date hey Maur?" _Jane teased with a wink, now understanding Maura's absence over the past few days.

_"Yeah something like that." _Maura blushed.

From Maura's scant reply, Jane knew that she didn't want to talk to her about it just yet. As open as Maura usually was with her, she understood her initial reticence to talk to Jane about significant relationships; she had been the same with Ian. It was as if she had to steel herself up to having the conversation, somehow afraid of Jane's reaction.

_"Well I look forward to hearing the details tomorrow, if he's got you blushing already it sounds promising. Well, best get back to work, see you soon." _Jane said as she headed to the door.

_"Bye Jane, see you soon." _Maura replied, relieved that Jane hadn't pushed for details about her date with Louise.

After Jane's departure Maura excitedly began to plan the details of what to wear and how to do her hair for her date; something she had not done for a long time.


	3. Getting to Know You

**_Getting to know you._**

Maura stood in her dressing room, a pile of discarded outfits at her side. Everything she had tried on seemed wrong and she wanted to be perfect for tonight, for Louise. She had been drawn to her red and black Alexander McQueen dress, but she had worn red all day and wanted a change. Then she had considered her Alexander Wang leather pencil skirt, but it was far too warm to be wearing leather. Soon the number of outfits cast aside threatened to exceed those painstakingly organised and hung. Finally, she had chosen to wear a blue Missoni dress, with its black lace midsection that hinted at the firm abs underneath. She was sure Louise would approve of her choice.

Maura was dressed and ready by 7pm, with a whole half hour to spare. She headed to the living room and sat delicately down on her couch, trying not to crinkle her dress. She flicked on the tv and hopped between channels for a few seconds before giving up and turning it off again. Noticing a magazine on the table that she'd not had time to look at, she decided a bit of mindless reading was in order. But again she couldn't focus and placed the book neatly back onto the coffee table. She looked at her watch: 7.07pm. Why was time moving so slowly? She knew the speed at which time moved was consistent and unwavering, but for now logic eluded her, her thoughts focussed on the evening to come. Maura decided that maybe a glass of wine would calm her nervous excitement and she stood to fetch herself a glass. Taking a sip of the ice cold chardonnay, she cringed, her body objecting to the alcohol it had so recently purged itself of. Abandoning the wine, Maura resorted to pacing between living room and kitchen, interspersed with trips to the bathroom to check her makeup. She had never been as nervous about any date as she was for this one.

Eventually and slightly before the agreed time, Maura heard the unmistakeable sound of a car stopping outside her home. Maura grinned, Louise was here! And punctual! She liked that. Seconds later when the knock on her door arrived, Maura made one last quick dash to the mirror, before walking slowly to answer. She did not want to appear overly eager. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door:

_"Wow, you look amazing"_ Louise said as her gaze dropped from Maura's eyes, down the length of her body and back again, taking in every minute detail of the beautiful woman before her.

Maura beamed, slightly flushed by the compliment. _"I was about to say the same of you" _she replied earnestly. Louise was dressed in fitted black pants and a deep blue silk button down shirt that accentuated her toned curves and perfectly complimented Maura's own outfit; her flat shoes making her slightly shorter than Maura in her four inch heels.

_"Are you ready to go?" Louise asked. "I have a table booked for us at 8."_

_"I'm ready" _Maura grabbed her purse and black cashmere sweater from the table beside the door and left the house.

When they arrived at the small, comfortable restaurant, they were shown to a candle lit table by the window and were offered the wine list:

_"Do you want any wine?" _Maura asked Louise. _"I'm just going to stick to water, I'm a little dehydrated still" _she continued, remembering her earlier reaction to wine with distaste.

_"No thank you, I don't drink wine." _Louise replied, then looking at the waiter ordered water for Maura and a beer for herself.

The evening progressed without a hitch, the two women thoroughly enjoying the other's company and conversing freely. Eventually the conversation progressed onto more personal topics and Louise began to tell Maura about her marriage:

_"Kate and I were married for five years, together for ten in all. She was a little older than me so, when her periods became heavy and irregular, we didn't think anything of it, thought it was probably just her age. But when she became bloated and had bled for two weeks solid, we started to worry. I booked her an appointment with her ob/gyn. She ran some blood tests and found high levels of CA125 in her blood" _Louise explained sadly, as she played with what remained of her meal.

_"She had Ovarian Cancer." _Maura deduced effortlessly; her years of experience in the autopsy room telling her all she needed to know.

_"Yeah" said Louise quietly. "Grade 4c epithelial ovarian carcinoma. By the time we'd found it, it was too late; it had already metastasised and invaded her lungs. She died 3 months later" _Louise said sadly.

_"I'm so sorry, that must have been devastating for you" _said Maura sympathetically as she reached out to take Louise's hand, revelling in her smooth skin and long, delicate fingers. Maura couldn't deny the thrill she felt as her whole body responded viscerally to Louise's touch.

_"It was. After her death I just ran away." _Louise continued. _"I'd been planning to go to Cambodia as part of my research for a while and as soon as I could after her funeral I went. My photographer and I spent 6 months living in a small rural village, immersing ourselves into the culture; observing and photographing the villagers' lives. As women we were welcomed into the Cambodian women's lives in a way a male ethnographer would never have been. We studied the rites and practices associated with birth and child rearing. It was a fascinating experience and the time away from Boston helped me to process what had happened and to mend my soul." _Louise said with a slight smile, her excitement about her work overriding the pain of her loss somewhat.

Maura was captivated by Louise's enthusiasm, her eloquence and the way her eyes sparkled like deep, dark sapphires in the candlelight. She herself had spent some time immersed in the culture of a foreign land, albeit for different reasons. As a volunteer for Médecins Sans Frontières, Maura had been there to help, to heal and Louise had gone to merely observe and understand. But she understood the profound effect that such an experience would have on a person, especially one as intuitive and empathic as Louise seemed to be.

_"I've been back in Boston for 8 months now, working on writing up my research and preparing for my viva, as well as teaching some courses at BCU." _Louise explained, moving away from such an emotive topic. That was the past and as much as it had shaped who she was, this was her life now and it was this one that she needed to move forward in and a life she wanted Maura to be a part of, whether as a lover or a friend. She knew it would be difficult for both of them to build a romantic relationship; they both had baggage with which they would need to deal, not least of all was Maura's inexperience. But baggage was to be expected with anyone their age, they were not teenagers with nothing to bring to a relationship but enthusiasm and lust afterall.

_"What is it you've been teaching?" _Maura asked, genuinely interested in all Louise had to say. She was fascinated by her. They had so much in common; she could talk to her for hours without getting bored or uncomfortable. And they certainly had chemistry, they had already proven that.

_"Ethnographic research methodology mainly, I don't think teaching is my forte, but the university are funding my research and it's part of the deal." _She admitted with a shrug.

_"Oh, I'm sure you're a better professor than you give yourself credit for." _Maura told her sincerely.

Louise smiled at the compliment, as the waiter returned to the table to clear away their now abandoned plates.

_"Anyway, enough about me, tell me more about your work, it sounds fascinating" _Said Louise to shift the focus back onto Maura, aware that she had dominated the conversation for too long.

Happy to oblige Maura began to tell Louise all about her role as the Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts and the important role she played in identifying victims and solving homicides throughout the state, but she avoided mentioning Jane. She didn't really know why she avoided mentioning her, she was after all her best friend and colleague, but it just didn't feel right discussing her on her first date with another woman and Maura so wanted to try and make this work. Her attraction to Louise was undeniable; she was intelligent, funny, quirky and oh so sexy. Her long, perfectly defined limbs had drawn Maura's attention more and more as the night went on as she remembered the power of those limbs wrapped around her waist, pulling her close; those fingers curling inside her. She wanted that again, needed that again and the way Louise looked at her, with hunger in her eyes showed that she wanted it too. But for tonight, logic intervened and they agreed that, as they were both exhausted from the previous night's activities, they would each retire to their own homes.

Pulling up outside Maura's smart detached home, Louise hopped out of the car and moved to open the passenger door for Maura. However Maura was faster than she, and was already stood as she rounded the car's hood. Maura was pleased that Louise hadn't been able to help her. She had never been a fan of such chivalry and she most certainly didn't want it from Louise. She was her equal in all ways; strong, independent and capable, not a delicate flower to be protected or fawned over. Closing the car door, Maura reached out and entwined her fingers with Louise's, it still felt so alien to her, and yet so perfectly right. Why she had never acted upon her attraction to women in the past, she couldn't now understand; she had wasted so much time searching for Mr. Right when maybe there just wasn't a Mr. Right out there for her; that it was Ms. Right she should have been looking for all along.

As they walked up the driveway, the security light activated, momentarily blinding them after the darkness of the car and of the restaurant before that. At the door, still holding Louise's hand, Maura turned and smiled as their eyes met. Holding her gaze, Maura noticed how dilated Louise's pupils were, despite the almost blinding light that engulfed them. It was an undeniable measure of attraction, which momentarily caused her resolve to not invite Louise inside waver.

Angela had just turned out the light and snuggled into bed when the security light on the driveway burst into life, illuminating her bedroom once more. She decided to take a quick peek out of her window and slipped out of bed. She hadn't seen Maura since lunchtime, and hadn't seen Jane all day, even though it was late, if they were together she may pop over to say hi to her favourite girls. Pulling the blind aside slightly she peered through the miniscule gap she had created.

Maura was stood at her door with the woman she had met that morning, Angela couldn't remember her name, even though it was only hours since Maura had introduced her. As she watched, the woman reached out to hold Maura's hips, pulling her towards her as Maura slipped her arms around the dark haired woman's waist. Angela knew she should stop watching, that she should move away from the window and give Maura her privacy, but she was so shocked at what she saw she could not move; the women were now kissing, slow and purposefully, holding each other tight.

Finally they pulled apart and began to talk, still holding each others' hips, words interspaced by tender kisses. Angela couldn't hear what was being said through the glass but she didn't need to hear to recognize the intimacy of the conversation she observed. They way they touched, the way they looked at each other told her far more than the words ever could. Eventually, Maura leant in for another long kiss and then the woman, whose name still eluded Angela, turned and left. Maura stood on her doorstep a while longer, watching as the woman walked to her car and then raised her hand goodbye and entered her home.

Angela still couldn't move, unable to believe what she had just witnessed. She had never even contemplated the possibility of Maura being with a woman romantically. Why would she? There had never been any indication that she should. Maura had never said anything during their frequent girl to girl chats and so, to her knowledge, Maura had only ever dated men. Yeah, her relationship with Jane was an unusual one, with them being much closer than best friends generally were, but she had always put that down to the fact that both her girls had very few, if any, friends and that neither had a sister upon whom they could rely.

Back in the safety of her sheets, Angela mulled over this newfound knowledge. She wasn't shock per se, as shocked would suggest that she didn't approve. She was shocked about how she had found out and how unexpected it had been, but she couldn't say she didn't approve. Anything that made the ones she loved happy was ok by her and the look on Maura's face as she talked to her 'friend' showed Angela that she really was happy. So much bad stuff had happened to Maura, to all of them of late; it was so refreshing and welcome to see her face glowing with such contentment. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Angela. Had she misread Jane and Maura's relationship? Were they, or had they been more than friends? And if they had, why had they never told her?

The real big question was what was she going to do with this information now that she had discovered it? Should she admit to Maura she had been snooping on her? Should she tell Jane? Does Jane already know? Should she try and forget she'd seen anything? Her instinct would be to talk about it, get it out into the open, but Maura would be angry and upset with her. Maybe even embarrassed and she didn't want to ruin the good relationship they had built up.

As her mind contemplated all these questions and their implications, her body began to give in to the fatigue that engulfed her and she drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

In her dressing room, Maura removed her dress and carefully folded it, placing it on the small pile of clothes needing to be dry cleaned and closed her eyes, picturing Louise, feeling her breath against her lips, her hips pressed into her own. Tentatively Maura raised her hand to stroke the skin from her chest and over her collarbones to her neck. She wished she had invited Louise in, that it was Louise's feather light touch grazing her flesh. Biting her lip, her hand slid back down to rest on her lace covered breast, feeling its softness and its weight. Her imagination began to work overtime; telling her the breast in her hand was not her own, and she gently squeezed it, remembering how Louise's breasts, smaller than her own, had felt in her hands and the effect she had had on them.

Moving her other hand to her abdomen, she continued to stroke herself so gently it would have tickled had it been someone else touching her. Disjointed images of Louise bombarded her mind, of Louise smiling at her, holding her, kissing her, her tongue delicately sliding across her lips. Images of Louise writhing beneath her as her passions threatened to overwhelm her. Of Louise settled between her thighs, her tongue lapping up the fluid that seeped from her core and she felt the unmistakeable tingle of arousal from the memories. With a sigh, Maura's hand snaked its way beneath her black lace thong, a single finger slipping down into the crack that protected her sensitive inner folds. She was already sopping wet and in need of release, but Maura was in no rush, knowing from experience that the longer she could hold out and ignore the instinct to go harder, faster, the more intense and fulfilling her orgasm would be when it finally came.

Opening her eyes, she stared at herself in the mirror; thrilled by the image it reflected. She watched as the hand holding her breast slid inside her bra to squeeze her nipple, as her hips rolled and thrust against the fingers hidden within, trying to recreate the movements Louise's nimble fingers had made. She watched as her stomach contracted and released with every movement, as her face and chest became flushed and her breath came faster; her body racing towards it's climax, Maura once again closed her eyes and thought of Louise. Her legs began to become unsteady, shaking beneath her and so her hand left the confines of her bra to brace against the wall. Her movements now were primal, instinctive. Her body knew what it wanted, and exactly how to get it. Fingers, stomach and hips undulated in perfect synchronicity as her core muscles enveloped her fingers in their vicelike grip, until her whole body shivered with the pleasure washing over her and with a scream, she came.

Maura rested her head against the cool wall, her legs feeling like jelly while she recovered enough to remove her underwear, slip into her favourite purple silk pyjamas and take herself to bed. Lying beneath the soft cotton sheet, she sighed contentedly and instantly fell asleep.


	4. The Doctor Dances

**_A/N: I'd like to thank everyone that has left reviews, good or bad, for taking the time to review my story. Also, thanks to those of you that haven't reviewed, but who have followed the story. I really didn't expect to get such a positive response. Actually, I didn't expect to get a response at all, with this being my first proper attempt at writing a full length story. I hope you all continue to bare with me; I am working towards a Rizzles endgame, but how I will get there and how long it will take I don't know. For now I'm just going with the flow and enjoying the process…..Oh and yes, in case anyone was wondering, this chapter's title is a bit of a nod towards my other TV obsession, Doctor Who_****.**

**The Doctor Dances**

_"Hi Maura, are you busy? Do you have time to grab a coffee?"_ Jane asked as she walked into Maura's office with her customary swag.

_"Hi Jane"_ Maura replied, smiling at her best friend_. "I can't right now, I have this report to finish for Detective McCallum."_ She saw the look of disappointment that glanced over Jane's face for the briefest of moments. It was the tiniest of expressions that most people would have missed. But Maura wasn't most people; Maura knew Jane's responses intimately and unwilling to cause her friend any upset, no matter how small, Maura continued with a bright smile:

_"But, I will be finished in time to go for lunch, if you'd like to do that instead."_

_"Yeah, great, call me when you're ready to go."_ Jane replied, relieved that her friend still wanted to spend time with her. Jane didn't know what she'd do if her friendship with Maura disintegrated. She didn't know what was going on with Maura; it wasn't like her to be so distant.

They had just sat to eat their lunch when Jane's cell phone rang; its tone telling her it was dispatch, that duty called. Seconds later Maura's phone also chimed.

_"Rizzoli"_ Jane stated as she answered in almost perfect synchronicity with Maura's _"Isles"_

A body had been found in a dumpster behind Copley Place Mall by an employee taking out the trash.

_"Shall we go in my car?"_ Maura asked knowing they would both be at the scene some time and that should she or Jane finish before the other, a squad car would bring them back to the station.

_"No, we'll take the cruiser"_ Jane stated.

_"You always get to drive"_ Maura argued petulantly, slipping back into the light-hearted bickering they had always enjoyed.

_"Yeah, coz I drive better and the cruiser is faster. You don't have flashers!"_ Jane told Maura logically _"Now are you coming with me or not?"_ And grabbing their sandwiches, the pair left the café.

When they got to the mall, they found Frost, who was standing close to the tape that cordoned off the crime scene. Although he had gotten better with dealing with corpses during his time in homicide, he still preferred to work on the periphery, where his sharp observational skills were just as important to the police's investigation. Smiling at the women who he considered to be both his colleagues and his friends he succinctly brought them up to speed:

_"The decedent is female and appears to be in her 40's. No identification of any kind was found on the body and she has no obvious distinguishing features. She was found around an hour ago by one of the janitors. She's in the ambulance being treated for shock and we'll be able to interview her as soon as she's given the all clear by the paramedics. The body remains in-situ waiting for you Doctor Isles"_ Maura thanked him and left to work on the body, flashing her ID to the uniformed cop guarding the scene.

Completing her initial examination, Maura arranged for the body to be removed and taken to the Morgue for a more thorough examination, before reporting her findings to Jane, who was impatiently pacing around behind her.

_"The decedent is a white female, approximately forty years of age…"_ Maura began.

_"No shit Maura, we already knew that"_ Jane said irritably, waiting for answers was not her strong suit. Maura glared at her for her choice of words but continued regardless.

_"Rigor is evident in the face and neck, but has not yet spread into the arms, suggesting that the TOD was approximately 10am. Cause of death appears to be blunt force trauma to the base of the skull, we'll know more after the autopsy."_ Said Maura concisely.

_"So it's suspicious, yes"_ Jane speculated, much to Maura's chagrin. Guessing was so irresponsible and she wished that Jane would stop doing it so often. The only reliable information was that collected through systematic study and that could not be done on the field. She needed to be in the morgue, with her specialist equipment to be able to come to any firm conclusions.

_"I couldn't say conclusively that that is the case"_ Maura argued.

_"She's dead in a dumpster Maur; I'd say that is suspicious!"_ All the years Jane had worked as a homicide detective made her inclined to see any death as suspicious, a large part of that coming from experience. Women were not normally found in a dumpster having died a natural death and she found Maura's insistence on waiting for conclusive proof irritating; her need to bring some balance of justice and safety to her home town being as strong as Maura's need to follow the scientific evidence.

_"Not necessarily, it is possible that the death was accidental."_ Maura suggested earnestly. It was possible that the woman had been dumpster diving and slipped, banging her head on the receptacle, although her clothing did suggest that this was unlikely.

_"Oh, cummon Maur…"_ Said Jane incredulously as her exasperation and irritability got the better of her.

_"OK, fine, given the location that the body was found, the death is possibly suspicious, but we will know more…" _

_"Yeah, yeah, I know, after the autopsy"_ Jane sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Maura hadn't seen Louise in over a week; a week filled with autopsies, homicide investigations, report writing and meetings, the body from the mall still hadn't been identified and the whole team was getting frustrated. They knew how she had died, she had been hit at the base of the skull, fracturing the C1 vertebrae and severing the spinal cord, most likely with a golf club or something similar. Death would have been instantaneous. Without identification or the murder weapon however, the case was pretty much stagnant and if nothing changed it would shortly become a cold case.

Over the course of the week, Louise and she had shared numerous phone calls and text conversations and as frustrating as that was and as much as she wanted to see Louise, she was sure that after their sudden and passionate beginnings, having some time to process their relationship was a good thing. However, this logic was belied by the number of times Maura had found herself checking her cell phone, just in case Louise had sent her a message, despite knowing that she had not or her smiling wistfully at a simple how's your day going text message. Jane had watched with interest the way Maura surreptitiously peeked at her phone, when normally it would lay in her purse, all but forgotten. She could only conclude that this new relationship of Maura's was going well, even if Maura still hadn't confided in her about her new guy and she couldn't help wondering if her mother knew anything. She had a way of finding out about everything whether you liked it or not and she and Maura were close.

Louise's week had been equally busy, her writing consuming her time and she too had needed some time to think. But as Friday came around, the opportunity to meet arrived and was eagerly taken up. _I have the whole weekend off after today. Would you like to go out again? Xxx._ Maura sent the text message to Louise, hoping she'd say yes as she sat in the Division One café eating her lunch. Angela was there, flitting around, serving customers and cleaning tables. Maura watched her as she worked the lunchtime rush, alone as always and pondered, suddenly realising that Louise was not the only one she'd not spoken to properly all week. Was Angela avoiding her? She had definitely been quiet with her whenever she had served her in the café, which in itself wasn't unusual when the café was busy, but to not see her outside of work, that, that was unusual. Angela was almost always popping into the main house; to watch TV on Maura's plasma screen, to make coffee, or just to say hi and a whole week without that was strange.

A few minute later, Maura's phone pinged in response. _I'dlove to. You chose what to do this time. Xxx._ Maura didn't have to think about what she wanted to do. She already knew. She wanted to dance. She felt so alive and free when she danced and hadn't been out dancing for such a long time. So long in fact that she didn't even know where they could actually go. Quickly finishing her quinoa salad, Maura waved goodbye to Angela and returned to the morgue and the ever trusty Google determined to find out.

Angela was relieved when Maura had left the café without them having a chance to talk; she still hadn't decided what to say to her and if she were entirely honest, she was embarrassed. Both about knowing that Maura was dating Louise, she was sure that was her name, and about how she had found out, but she knew that she couldn't keep avoiding Maura. For one thing it just wasn't practical with them living and working in such close proximity to one another and for another, she was missing her. Her deep maternal instincts had welcomed Maura into her heart and she thought of her as a second daughter. She had always wanted another daughter to balance out her family after having the two boys, but Mother Nature hadn't agreed until the beautiful, quirky and intelligent doctor had walked into all their lives. And so, as she had done every day that week, Angela promised herself that tomorrow she would talk to Maura, to let her know she knew and that it was ok.

In her quiet office, separated from the bustle of the lab, Maura began to search for somewhere to go with Louise, somewhere that they could dance and not have to be cautious about being openly affectionate. Maura didn't think she would be able to spend an entire evening out with Louise without being able to touch her, at least a little. Pretty soon she had chosen a suitable venue and as it didn't open until 10pm, she had booked a table at a nearby Italian restaurant. She hoped Louise would approve of her plan as she finally text the details to her.

Maura's cab dropped her off outside the restaurant a few minutes before the allotted time and she entered the sophisticated restaurant, one of her favourites, where she had eaten many times before.  
_"Good evening Dr. Isles. Let me take you to your table. Your guest is already seated."_ The maître'd informed Maura, who beamed at his words and felt a sudden fluttering of nerves, Louise was waiting for her!  
_"Thank you"_ Maura said and followed the uniformed man to the table where Louise patiently waited with a bottle of Chianti breathing on the table before her. As Maura approached, Louise stood and moved around the table to pull Maura into a tight hug, which was enthusiastically returned as the maître'd retreated.

Maura pulled back slightly and with their hands joined, she took in Louise's appearance with clear appreciation; she wore a purple satin halter neck top, her customary dark fitted jeans and some black heeled pumps; her long dark hair was braided and fell in a thick rope down her naked back. Maura craved to reach out and touch the luxurious material of Louise's shirt and to feel the heat of the woman beneath, but this was neither the time nor the place. That would come later she hoped but for now the doctor needed to be patient.

_"It's great to see you again Maura, talking on the phone just isn't the same as seeing you in person" _Louise told her sincerely as they sat. She poured Maura a generous glass of the deep red wine she had ordered while she was waiting for Maura to arrive and handed it to her.

_"I hope this is ok? I had to guess what you would like."_ Louise asked tentatively.

_"It's perfect, thank you"_ Maura replied with a broad smile, charmed by Louise's thoughtfulness as she took a sip.

Maura watched as Louise picked up and scanned the menu; taking in every micro-expression of her face and Louise flushed a little under the not unwelcome scrutiny.  
_"Do you know what you're having already?"_ Louise asked, noticing that Maura's menu was still on the table where the waiter had left it.  
_"Oh yes, they make the most amazing gnocchi here; I'm going to have that. Of course, it's nowhere near as good as Angela's."_ Maura told her without thinking.  
_"Angela?" _Louise asked curiously. And so inadvertently, Maura had created the need to tell Louise about her complicated family situation, her part in the Rizzoli clan and Jane; something that thus far she had managed to avoid.

_"Angela is my friend Jane's mother. You met her; she has lived in my guesthouse ever since her divorce a couple of years ago."_ Maura informed her simply.

_"Oh yes, I remember her, she seemed nice"_ Louise said remembering the friendly older woman she had spoken to briefly as they left Maura's house the morning after they had first met. _"I think I'll have the Gnocchi too, if it's as good as you say it is" _she continued, her mind returning to the demands of her empty stomach. Maura was pleased that the topic had so easily come to a close realising that there was no real reason why it shouldn't and that her concerns were all the result of her over active mind.

Sometime later, after finishing their meal and strolling arm in arm through the streets of Boston, Maura and Louise approached the dance club's door, bypassing the queue that was already forming; Maura had used her contacts and influence to get them onto the guest list for the night. Her prominent position afforded her some privileges and although she didn't take advantage of them often, they did at times prove to be useful. Inside, the club was dark. Loud dance music reverberated around the room, already filling with gyrating women. Smiling at Louise, Maura stepped in closer to speak into her ear; there would be little opportunity to talk here without leaning in close to be heard. With a nod, they moved towards the bar, where they found a place to sit, drink beer and watch the world go by.

After the beer and the wine she had consumed during dinner, it didn't take long for the music to penetrate Maura's body. Standing Maura took Louise's hand and strode confidently onto the dance floor, her limbs keeping in time with the pounding beat. Feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious, Louise attempted to follow Maura's effortless, fluid movements, certain that she had failed abysmally. She wasn't a dancer; she'd never even had dance lessons as a child and she didn't want to embarrass Maura with her lack of rhythm. But, Maura didn't seem to notice and was evidently having fun, so she didn't mind too much. As she watched Maura she discovered that she too was having fun, Maura's enthusiasm had infected her!

Back at Maura's house the two women reclined on the comfortable couch, sleepy and invigorated by their night. Maura's head rested on Louise's shoulder as they chatted easily and comfortably, low music playing in the background. The track changed and as Beth Gibbon's sultry voice began, it claimed Maura's attention.  
_"I'm so tired of playing, playing with this bow and arrow",_ Maura quietly sang along. _"Oh this song always makes me want to dance."_ She told Louise dreamily. Louise captured Maura's hand in her own and pulled her to standing.

_"Then let's dance"_ She told Maura with a devilish grin. _"This kind of dancing, I can do!"_

Moving to the space behind the couch, Louise slid one arm around Maura's waist and placed the other onto her shoulder; their bodies pressed tightly together as they danced to the slow, soulful music, hip to hip, breast to breast. Bare footed on the carpet, their height difference remained unnoticed by the intoxicated women as their bodies melted into each other. Maura rested her head against Louise's shoulder, inhaled her scent and closed her eyes. Sliding her hand up Louise's back, she felt the muscles flexing beneath her silky smooth skin and as she reached where a bra ought to have been, she instead found Louise's tightly braided hair. She pulled at the elastic that held it secure, releasing long dark waves that Maura wasted no time in running her fingers through. Shifting a little to the side, Louise pushed her leg between Maura's thighs and leant her back to kiss her exposed throat, feeling rather than hearing the quiet guttural moan it elicited. They continued their dance, their bodies moving as one to the slow rhythm they had created, oblivious to the fact that the music had ceased to play as their arms and hands moving to caress everything in their path.

Defying her delicate appearance, Louise lifted Maura and carried her back to the couch. She gently placed her down, and then straddled her. Running her fingers through Maura's honey blonde hair, she grasped the blonde curls pulling Maura's head up so she could capture Maura's mouth in a passionate open kiss. There they stayed making out on the couch like a pair of teenagers, happily enjoying each other's presence and touch. This time, the visceral need to devour the other entirely had minimised and had been replaced by a tender need to explore each other in minute detail. It was Maura who finally broke the spell as she whispered:

"Louise, take me to bed."

They woke late, the sheets tangled at the foot of the bed, abandoned for the warmth of the others' body. Maura's eyes were still closed and she was totally relaxed in the dreamy space between sleeping and waking, the place where everything felt so soft and enveloping, when she felt Louise stir in her arms. She slowly opened her eyes to find Louise gazing at her.

_"Good morning beautiful" _Louise said tenderly, nuzzling in to Maura's neck.

_"Mmmmmmm...Morning" _Maura mumbled, distractedly, into the top of Louise's head, her eyes drifting shut once more. Kissing Maura's cheek, Louise started to pull away and Maura held her more firmly in place, determined to stay on the precipice of sleep; relaxed and warm.

_"You have to let me go honey, I have to use the bathroom! _Louise told her regretfully and so with a dejected sigh, Maura released her. Curled on her side she watched intently as Louise walked, still naked, into the bathroom. Maura appreciated how comfortable she was in her own skin, it showed a kind of strength that she admired. Fully awake now, Maura sat up and getting out of bed headed for the kitchen.

Maura closed the refrigerator door and turned to find Louise, wearing nothing more than her panties, standing a few inches away from her; a devilish grin lighting up her features that did nothing to hide her intent. This woman had enchanted her and she wanted nothing more than to spend the entire day in her opulent bedroom, or bathroom, or living room, or anyplace so long as they were alone and naked together.

_"Have you decided what you want for breakfast?" _Maura asked innocently, pretending she didn't see the look of hunger shining in Louise's bottomless blue eyes.

_"Ye, You!" _She said as she stepped forward, slamming Maura against the fridge door and pushing against her to hold her in place. Maura shivered in delight, she liked Louise's quiet, gentle dominance as she grabbed both of Maura's hands, raising them above her head. Instinctively, Maura raised her leg to wrap around Louise, pulling her in closer, her lilac camisole nightdress riding up to her waist. Keeping Maura's arms pinned over her head, Louise slid a single hand down the length of her body to grab her now exposed ass and squeezed hard.

It was at that precise moment that Angela, steeling herself for 'the talk' with Maura, decided to bite the bullet and opened the door.

_"Morni…" _She began, storming into the house before coming to an abrupt halt.


	5. A Storm in a Teacup

**Chapter 5: A Storm in a Teacup.**

* * *

Frozen in the moment, three red faced women stared at one another; rabbits caught in the headlights, too startled to react in any way as the scene before them played out in slow motion. Louise was the first to react and jumping back released Maura from her captivity allowing her nightgown to drift back to its rightful place on her thigh. The sudden rush of cold air on Louise's nipples, reminded her that she was all but naked and so, mortified, she hugged her arms around herself in an attempt to regain a modicum of modesty.

_"Erm…. I'll just…..erm yeah….." _Louise mumbled gesturing towards the door, before sidling across to it and disappearing.

Angela stood, barely into the house, her eyes locked onto Maura's trying to see into her soul, to establish how she felt. Maura was always so calm, so accommodating, that she would stifle her own emotions in order to become the perfect hostess and Angela didn't want polite Maura; she needed to know just how badly she had damaged their relationship. If only she had knocked and not just barged in! She should have realised that Maura may well have company.

_"Maura" _she began hesitantly, trying to convey the regret she was feeling. _"I'm so sorry, I didn't realise your friend was here, I really am sorry. I'll leave." _And she turned to exit Maura's home.

_"Angela, wait! Please!" _Maura insisted. Despite her embarrassment, she was pleased to see the Rizzoli matriarch and wanted her to stay. She had thought that if anyone had found out about Louise and herself she would be mortified, especially if it was possible they would tell Jane, but now it had happened, all she felt was relief. Yes, she was embarrassed, but that would quickly pass, leaving her able to finally talk about her new-found relationship and all its implications. She was sure that Angela would understand, if only she gave her the chance to explain.

_"No honey, it's ok, go see to your friend. I wanted to talk to you but we can talk later, when you're not as busy. I'm not going anywhere." _Angela told her with a reassuring smile, attempting to defuse the brief glimpse of fear she saw in Maura otherwise calm façade when she had said she was leaving.

* * *

Upstairs, in the bedroom, Louise had thrown on the clothes that had been so hastily removed the night before and then begun to pace the room, unsure of what she should do. Should she go back to the kitchen, to Maura? Or should she stay here, out of the way? Maura hadn't said much to her, but she could tell that the older woman was important to her, why else would she allow her friend's mother to live in her guesthouse and allow her to just walk into her home at will. Either the woman had no boundaries whatsoever, or it was the accepted norm for her to do it. She suspected it was the latter. She decided that she really ought to go back down and support Maura after helping her to come out so spectacularly and she couldn't hear any yelling which was a good sign. As she walked down the stairs, she could hear Maura talking:

_"Thank you Angela. I'll come and talk to you as soon as Louise has left." _ Maura said as she held the door and showed Angela out.

Coming back into the kitchen Louise's annoyance at the interruption and Maura's polite response began to irritate her. She really did not understand what had happened; Maura lives alone, they should not have been disturbed and all Maura did was thank Angela. Why wasn't she angrier at this invasion of her privacy?

_"Has she gone?" _Louise enquired, already knowing the answer as she leant against the counter-top.

_"Yes, she was as embarrassed as we were and asked me to apologise to you for her." _Maura told her. Suddenly the annoyance and embarrassment Louise felt, began to turn to anger; the nausea and headache she was experiencing was doing nothing to help her mood

_"I doubt that, SHE wasn't the one half naked!" _She snapped back, beginning to pace the kitchen. Maura recoiled at the tone, confused about what was happening. She had expected Louise to come back downstairs amused; didn't people usually offset embarrassment with laughter? Or was that another idiosyncrasy unique to her?

_"You may be right, but thankfully she wasn't angry." _Maura informed her trying to share her relief; sure that Louise would understand how important it was to her that Angela wasn't angry. That telling those you love that you have a girlfriend and facing their possible disapproval was petrifying.

_"Angry? We're the ones that should be angry Maura! She just walked straight into your home! You know where we were…. Ya know!" _She said emphatically. _"How'd she get in anyway? Does she have a key?" _Louise bombarded Maura with questions, still trying to fathom the role the older woman played in Maura's life and why she wasn't more upset.

_"Well, yes, she does have a key and free access to the house. The facilities in the guest house are rather basic. But I didn't hear the key in the door. Did we lock up last night? I don't remember!" _Confused, Maura struggled to recall the minute details of the night before, but other, more vibrant details blocked her sight.

_"My god Maura! How can you forget to lock up?" _Said Louise incredulously.

_"Well, we were rather intoxicated and alcohol has been show to disrupt hippocampal function, particularly those associated with memory and inhibition." _Maura answered the accusatory question literally with her innate logic; they were indeed intoxicated when they had returned to the house and thus disposed towards forgetfulness and a disregard for personal safety.

_"How can you be so calm about this Maura? We were walked in on by some strange woman because you forgot to lock the door!" _ Said Louise, throwing her hands into the air as she continued to pace.

_"Angela's not strange! Angela is Angela! Angela is family! That she walked in on us is unfortunate, I was enjoying our breakfast! But it's not a huge issue." _Maura was beginning to become upset by the whole discussion but tried to remain calm. She hoped that by doing so she would also calm Louise, however, nothing she said seemed to help; Louise was becoming more and more agitated the longer they talked and it was making Maura uncomfortable.

Louise took a deep breath, aware of how irrational she was acting, before asking _"I thought you said she was your friend's mother, not yours." _Her calming breath had not been entirely successful.

_"It's complicated"_ Maura told her honestly. It was hard even for her to understand her place in the Rizzoli clan, never mind explain it to someone else. With them she had found the family she had always craved and she knew they felt the same about her.

_"Then explain it to me!"_ She challenged. Louise was adept at reading situations, relationships and establishing the meanings behind them, but this situation seemed strange to her. Maura was a strong, independent woman of almost forty and yet her friend's mom had free access to her life.

_"I don't want to fight with you Louise, maybe you should just go home and we can talk when we've both had some space to breathe." _Maura evaded the challenge, she really did not want to analyse her relationship. Doing so would inevitably bring the discussion around to Jane. Without whom, Maura would never have so much as met the Rizzolis and the fact remained that, given the opportunity, she would happily be much more than Jane's friend. This was not really something one should be discussing with a new lover, especially when you don't have the capacity to lie.

_"Now you want me to leave? Seriously?" _Louise asked her shocked. Yes, they were kind of in the middle of their first argument but she didn't expect Maura to want her to go and so being asked to leave hurt her.

_"Yes, I think you should. We can talk later." _She wanted to add, when you've calmed down but decided against it.

_"Fine! I'll just get my things." _Louise said huffily before going to retrieve the rest of her belongings from Maura's bedroom.

* * *

Back in the guest house Angela slouched into her armchair; her teacup gripped firmly between her hands, there was no avoiding the conversation now, even if she wanted to. Maura was most definitely having a relationship with Louise, that much was undeniable, and enjoying it too if what she had just witnessed was anything to go by! She still felt awful for having walked in on them, but the door was unlocked so she thought it'd be OK. Thankfully, despite the awkwardness of the situation, Maura didn't seem to be too angry or upset and she did say she would come and talk to her later on. How much later, Angela could not predict and she hoped it would be much later, for all of their benefits.

Once again, as she had done several times over the past week, Angela's thoughts came back to Jane. Now that the idea of Maura being with a woman had been sown in her mind, she couldn't help reflecting on her relationship with Jane. Why had she never noticed it before? The way they looked at each other. The way they touched each other. The way they allowed the other to hug them, even though neither of them were the touchy, feely, huggy type of woman; in fact Angela knew from experience that both were anything but those things. Yet with each other, they were. It all added up to them having been a couple. She prided herself on knowing what was going on in her children's lives, probably more than was healthy when your children are all approaching forty, she knew that, but this she had missed and she was determined to ask Maura about it. The thing which concerned her though was if Maura was seeing Louise and Jane was seeing Charles, then surely that meant that they were no longer a couple. But there was nothing that indicated their relationship had recently changed. If it had, she would know about it. Those few times they had argued had absolutely devastated both of them, even if they were both too proud to admit it and she was forced to take extreme measures to get them talking again.

Taking a sip of her tea, Angela heard voices coming from outside:

_"Please, Louise, let me drive you! _She heard Maura say. This is not good! Angela thought in dismay, Louise was leaving already and she hoped she was not the cause of her sudden departure; she hadn't seemed eager to leave when she had seen her in the kitchen barely a half hour ago. Hearing a car door slam, Angela concluded that Louise had accepted the offer of a ride and that thought was comforting. All she needed to do now was get her thoughts in order and wait for Maura's return. The Doctor had said they would talk once Louise had left and she always did as she said she would.


	6. Movie Night

**Chapter 6: Movie Night**

Jane poured two large glasses of chardonnay while Maura got the DVD ready to play. Pizza had been ordered: half mushroom, half pepperoni and a side salad to appease Maura's insistence that they consume leafy greens, although Jane was certain that the salad would end up being fed to Bass, untouched. Between work, Casey and Maura's mysterious date it had been a while since they had managed to have movie night and Jane felt a kind of contentment as she moved around her small kitchen collecting together everything they would need, mentally reeling off her little list as she went: wine; check, plates; check, cutlery; check, napkins; napkins? Damn it she thought, I've forgotten to get napkins, maybe if I don't mention them Maura won't notice! She knew she would though; Maura ate so delicately, almost birdlike really, that she would look for a napkin just as soon as she'd taken a single bite.

_"Maur, I forgot to pick up some napkins but I think I've some baby wipes from when Tommy left TJ with me last week. Will they do?" _ She asked Maura.  
_"You know you really shouldn't use those on TJ, all the chemicals in them are far too harsh for a toddler's skin and are likely to cause contact dermatitis."_ Maura replied, not really listening to Jane as she fiddled with the TV, trying to link it to the DVD player instead of Jane's Xbox. _"And you really ought to buy another HDMI cable so you can have both devices hooked up"_  
_"Focus Maura! Napkins! We have none!" _Jane pushed, the sooner she got an answer, the sooner they could get settled onto the couch and relax.  
_"Oh, yes, sorry. Baby wipes will be fine as an alternative this once; they won't affect our skin quite as badly as TJs."_ She conceded, finally finished setting up the movie.  
_"Great, then we're all set! Have you got the movie ready?"_ Jane asked as she handed Maura her glass of wine. Maura took the wine and told her that the movie was ready to play as soon as they were seated. They were planning on watching 'Gravity' which Maura assured her had been released to universal acclaim and had won numerous awards, including seven OSCARs and six BAFTAs. Jane just thought it sounded tedious, ninety minutes of watching Sandra Bullock floating around in space! She had wanted to get 'The Fast and the Furious 6' but Maura had insisted that any movie with 5th sequel would be awful. As always seemed to be the case, Maura's choice had won out.

With pizza and wine on the table before them, Jane very quickly realised that her initial evaluation of the movie was correct and she was bored. So very, very bored! And a bored Jane meant a fidgety, squirmy Jane, who kept disturbing Jo as she tried to sleep, curled up in the minute space between Jane and Maura's feet and the back of the sofa. The small dog, tired of the disturbance, moved herself into the crook of Maura's legs, away from Jane, and curled up once again, her head resting on Maura's knees. Unconsciously, Maura began to scratch Jo's ears; reclined on Jane's couch with their feet touching in the centre and Jo snuggled into her she was at peace and totally relaxed. However, she too was quickly becoming frustrated with the movie; there were so many scientific inaccuracies she wondered if all those who had praised its realism had actually watched the movie! Surely the NASA astronauts who lauded the movie had spotted them! It would be impossible for them to have been able to travel between the International Space Station and the Hubble Telescope without precise preparation, planning, calculation, the appropriate technology, not to mention a large quantity of fuel. Jane was right; they should have gotten 'The Fast and the Furious 6' at least with that she would have had no expectations to shatter.

Glancing across the sofa, Maura's eyes met deep, dark brown ones that were imploring her to confess the incredulity that Jane had read in Maura's expression.

_"Did you know that in reality, if Stone had released Kowalski's leg he would not have drifted away? He would have just floated there! Plus, when he's hanging onto her leg, to get back to the space station all he would have to do is pull himself forwards as there would be no continuing motive force to pull him away…" _Maura began to explain to Jane.

_"Yeah, I get it, Dr. Googlemouth!"_ Jane teased, interrupting Maura's tirade,_ "You think this movie sucks too, only for different reasons to me."_

_"Yes it does rather! There are so many glaring inaccuracies!"_ She agreed with a sigh ignoring Jane's amused, I told you so grin.

_"It's a movie Maura! Not a documentary!" _Jane teased; she could not believe she was defending the film.

_"I know." _Maura replied before switching her attention back to the screen, continuing to watch the movie, her competitive nature refusing to allow her to concede defeat so easily. Jane however, had given up on the movie completely, preferring to watch Maura's internal struggle. She smiled to herself as Maura's expressions flickered between disbelief and full blown annoyance. Any minute now she'd admit she was wrong.

_"Maura" _Jane said nudging Maura's foot with her own.

_"Yes Jane"_ She replied, aware that Jane had been watching her for the past five minutes, waiting for her give up on the movie too.

_"You know, we've not seen much of each other the last couple of weeks. Why don't we give up on this movie and just chat instead?" _Jane said, offering Maura an out that would leave her pride intact and end her boredom. _"You could tell me about this mystery guy you've been seeing!" _

Maura shifted in her seat, bringing her legs closer to her own body and away from Jane's, she wasn't sure she wanted to tell Jane about Louise just yet. Especially after the events of the morning and the long talk she'd had with Angela afterwards, both of which had taken an emotional toll on her. She took a long sip of her wine and considered what to do. Jane noticed the pause, certain that Maura's reticence meant that what she had to tell her would be big. Maybe she was seeing the governor or something! Although he was much too old for her, so it probably wasn't that. She didn't expect for one second just how big her declaration would be, or the effect it would have on her.

_"Do you really want to know Jane?" _Maura asked quietly, her heart beating out of her chest. Since the talk with Angela had gone so well and Angela had been so understanding, she had thought that when she finally did tell Jane, it would somehow be easier than this. But now it was happening, she found herself irrationally terrified of Jane's response. She had been scared of losing Jane to Casey, but what if it was this that tore them apart. She knew it was irrational, that although Jane could be somewhat prudish, she was also very accepting. And she loved her, maybe not in the way Maura wanted her to love her, but she knew that she did love her and wanted her to be happy.

_"Of course I do! You're my best friend! Tell me about him" _Jane gently prodded her friend, trying to reassure her that she could be trusted with whatever she had to say, that her friendship and confidence was unconditional.

_"Her" _Maura corrected, so quietly that Jane barely heard her.

_"Her?" _She questioned, uncertainly. Had Maura really said her?

_"Her!"_ Maura said again pointedly, her eyes locked onto Jane's, hoping that that would be enough for the penny to drop and she wouldn't have to say any more.

_"Oh!" _Jane exclaimed as the message sunk in and Maura watched her eyes grow wider. _"Her! You've been dating a woman! Wow! Why didn't you tell me?" _Jane was surprised and hurt that Maura hadn't told her sooner. Didn't she trust her? Apart from that, Jane felt something else, something more akin to confusion. Maura was attracted to women and that meant she had been right, that their playfulness had been flirting. She knew it had been on her part, but she had never been able to establish what it had been to the medical examiner. What sort of a detective was she, she thought, unable to see her friend's motives. But if Maura was attracted to women, why had she never told her? Why had they never gone beyond flirting? Was Maura being honest when she had said she wasn't her type?

_"It was all really sudden; I needed time to process it on my own. And I wasn't really sure how you'd react but after talking to Angela…." _

_"Wait! You told my mother before you told me!?" _Jane interrupted, struggling to understand and feeling hurt once again. Maura should have told her first, not her mother! She was supposed to be her best friend.

_"I didn't really have much choice about it after she walked in on us" _Maura tried to explain, wanting to undo the pained expression that permeated Jane's face but all she succeeded in doing was confusing Jane even more.

_"Ok, ok, ok! You're gonna have to start way at the beginning with this one" _She told Maura. None of this was making any sense and she wanted, needed to understand. Nervously, Maura began to tell Jane all about her meeting Louise, leaving out the fact that she had gone to the Dirty Robber to mope and to drown her pain and fear that she was losing her best friend in wine. As she spoke, she became more comfortable with the conversation and Jane's supportive, interested questions helped the conversation flow.

_"Anyway, I'm not sure it really matters anymore" _Maura told Jane with a sigh, noticing that they had both moved to the centre of the couch and were now sat knee to knee, their positions mirroring each other's.

_"Why not?" _Jane enquired curious.

_"I'm not sure if I'm going to see her again after this morning" _Maura told her honestly. Even after talking to Angela and trying to establish how the two of them had ended up rowing, she was confused. The drive to Louise's apartment had been silent, tense and Maura had been relieved when Louise had gotten out of the car and said goodbye.

_"What happened"_ Jane asked, surprised, placing a supportive hand onto Maura's knee. Everything Maura had told her so far had made her think that this Louise was a good thing. Once she had opened up, Maura had seemed genuinely excited about the relationship and Louise sounded really nice. But something had obviously happened this morning that had concerned Maura and that worried Jane.

Slightly embarrassed Maura began to explain _"Louise had stayed over and we were in the kitchen fooling around when Angela walked in and caught us"_ She said simply.

_"Caught you how?" _Jane asked naively.

_"Really Jane? You need me to spell it out for you!?" _She really didn't want to have to go into detail; just because they were best friends didn't mean that they had to share absolutely everything.

_"Oh…." _Jane exclaimed quietly. The realisation of what Maura was saying and the imagery that went along with it caught her off guard and she felt a flicker of jealously that she should not have felt. She was with Casey; she had chosen to accept his marriage proposal. Maura was her friend, nothing more, she could have sex with whomever she wanted and she had obviously wanted Louise.

_"Right!" _Maura said, with a nod, seeing the light of understanding dawn across Jane's face "_So anyway" _she continued _"after Angela left, Louise was really upset about it and we rowed. I've not heard from her at all since this morning when I dropped her back home. It seems that I am as adept at choosing women as I am men! _She admitted mournfully. Now the words were flowing easily, her guard slipped and her thoughts escaped her mouth unbridled:

_"While I was talking with Angela, I couldn't help thinking that had it been you topless and pinning me against the fridge when she walked in, we would have just laughed. I mean, you would have yelled at her to leave, but once she'd gone, I know we would have laughed about it." _She said, unaware of the connotations of her words which Jane felt like a kick in the guts, the image of Maura sandwiched between her and the fridge seared itself into her brain, threatening to overpower her and she had to get away. Jumping up Jane dashed for the bathroom.

_"Excuse me, one second" _Jane spluttered out as she went, Maura watched her sudden movement with confusion.

Locking the bathroom door, Jane slumped to the floor, her back sliding down the side of her vanity unit while the image Maura's unintended words had implanted into her mind played in a never ending loop, taunting her. Emotion getting the better of her, she banged her head against the solid wood behind her. _If she was going to start dating a woman why did it have to be her! Why not me? It could have been me! __**It should have been me!**_She thought in despair, hot tears threatening to flow from her eyes.

_"Jane? Are you alright?"_ Maura asked through the locked door with concern.

_"Yeah, I'm fine" _Jane lied. _"I just flooded suddenly and need to wash up. I'm in a bit of a mess but I'll be out soon." _She said, telling Maura the first thing she thought of that would necessitate such a sudden dash to the bathroom.

_"Oh ok, take your time" _Maura told her before returning to the living room and taking the time alone to tidy away the remains of their meal; carefully resealing the box of salad to take home to Bass. As she tidied she thought about Jane's reason for her urgent bathroom break. She knew Jane's menstrual cycle just as well as she knew her own. Generally, Jane's would start a few days before hers and she was already onto day 14. Returning to her place on the couch, alongside a peacefully sleeping Jo, Maura continued contemplating the way their bodies had seemed to unite. Although McClintock's theory of menstrual synchrony has been widely discredited, many people still believed it and Maura could understand why. In their case synchrony had indeed occurred, probably coincidentally; just because two factors occur simultaneously does not mean that they are causally linked, but it was a comforting idea that women who lived and worked closely together would naturally develop synchronised menstrual cycles.

_"You're early this month." _Maura stated simply when Jane finally rejoined her on the sofa, her Google mouth having been placated by her internal monologue.

_"Late actually" _Jane confided, the lie she had created merging into reality somewhat. She wasn't worried though, it made sense that her cycle would be disrupted with all the stress and worry of the past few weeks while she tried to decide what to do about Casey's proposal and the impact it would have on her life and her relationship with Maura. Her relationship with Maura, her best friend and closest confidant, the one person in the whole world she trusted whole-heartedly and with whom she could be totally and honestly herself. Not even Casey had been allowed to see into the depths of Jane Rizzoli in the way that Maura had and she could not imagine anyone else ever doing so either.

_"But my menstrual cycle isn't that interesting. Let's get back to you dating a woman!" _As painful as it was to her, Jane needed to keep discussing it, to find out if she had ever stood a chance. _"That time you put me on that lesbian dating website, we started talking about what kind of women we'd like if we liked women but you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me then that you liked women? Or what kind of women you like? _All the questions she needed answering spilled from her like a torrent.

_"The conversation moved on Jane, neither one of us answered the question and I wouldn't have been able to tell you my type then anyway. Up until meeting Louise it had only ever been a vague curiosity."_ She told Jane honestly. At that point there wasn't really a particular type of woman she liked but since their operation at the Merch for that case and having watched Jane charm all those women she most definitely did have a type. That she was so attracted to Louise proved that.

_"You told me I wasn't your type, so you must have had some idea?" _said Jane, finally getting to the one thing she really had to know and the one question Maura had dreaded her asking. She couldn't tell Jane that not only was she so perfectly her type, but that she was the person who had shown her that she liked tall, slim brunettes.

_"It's late, I'd better go." _She deflected. If she just didn't answer, she didn't have to try and lie. "_Has Angela told you she's doing Sunday lunch for us all tomorrow?" _

_"Yeah, I'll be there"_ She said with a smile, as much as she complained about them, her family, which included Maura, Vince and Barry, meant the world to her and their tradition of having Sunday lunch together whenever they could made her happy.

_"Great! Angela's going to come and start cooking directly after church around 11.30 so come over whenever you're ready"_

**A/N: I'm going to be on vacation for the next 10 days, so it'll be 2 weeks before the next update. Play nice while I'm gone :P**


	7. I'm Not Crying on Sundays

_A/N: I know absolutely nothing about sport (unless Pilates is a sport?) and have no wish to learn! (Hey! I'm a girly girl, don't shoot me!) So if I've written anything that's wrong, I apologise and ask that you just humour me. _

* * *

**Chapter 7: I'm Not Crying on Sunday**

Jane tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. Maura's news has shaken her to the core. She had never really considered the possibility of Maura being with a woman, not really, sometimes in the depth of night she had allowed her mind to wander and imagine how her best friend would feel in her arms. Her silky skin sliding against her own, but she was certain these dreams were just that, dreams. Maura wasn't the type of woman that would do that, she was so feminine, girly even. There were plenty of lesbian women on the force, none of whom were like Maura; they were all like her, tomboyish. But then, there was no one at all like Maura, not one person in the world could compare to her.

Throughout the night she tortured herself with thoughts of Maura and Louise. Of Louise taking her place on Maura's sofa as they watched TV, of Louise kissing her, of them making love. In her mind she created an image of Louise; sophisticated, curvaceous and blonde, they were always blonde! In short, everything Jane was not and would never be able to compete with. Whenever Maura had dated in the past, Jane had been jealous but had known that Maura was completely straight which meant she had no chance at all. But Maura dating a woman was something else, something eminently more painful than simple jealously, it meant Maura just didn't want HER!

Around 5am, as the sun was beginning to rise Jane gave in and decided that the only thing to do to quiet her mind for a while was to run. Quickly dressing in baggy shorts and singlet, she headed out leaving Jo soundly asleep in her basket at the foot of her bed. As she left the apartment building the fresh early morning air assaulted her exposed skin and she shivered. For a moment she considered going back for a sweater before setting off at a gentle pace to warm up instead. She had been running for several minutes before she realised that her auto-pilot had taken her on its usual route and she had subconsciously begun running towards Beacon Hill and Maura's home. Changing her route, Jane headed towards Boston Common intent on running the Freedom Trail.

An hour and seven miles later Jane stopped at Boston Joe's for coffee feeling both invigorated and tired, she had attained her runners high and was experiencing what she called happy lungs. She was sure there was a proper name for the feeling but she didn't know what it was, Maura would though and she made a mental note to ask her about it. At the counter Jane was greeted by the server:

_"__Good morning_ _Jane"_ She said enthusiastically despite the early hour.

_"__Morning Neda. How's you?"_ Jane replied. In spite of their difficult first meeting, Jane liked the girl and was pleased that Frost had started dating her; he deserved to find a nice girl and maybe she would be the one to make him settle down. He'd always been a bit of a player when it came to women.

_"__I'm good thanks. You're out early! Isn't Maura with you?" _She asked surprised that the detective was alone; she'd never seen her in the coffee shop without the doctor. They were together so much in fact that she had presumed they were a couple and was surprised when Barry had told her that they weren't and that Jane was getting married. She really could have sworn they were together; she usually had such good instincts about these things.

_"__Yeah, couldn't sleep. I've not seen Maura this morning" _Jane told her tersely, she was tired and in desperate need of a caffeine fix neither of which made her inclined to continue the small talk, especially where it involved Maura.

_"__That sucks! You want the usual?" _Neda saw the pained look that flashed across Jane's face at the mention of Maura's name and the dark circles beneath her eyes that betrayed her nocturnal tears. Maybe she had been right about them after all?

_"__Yeah, thanks" _Jane gave her a small, relieved smile. _"No problem"_ She smiled back and turned to prepare Jane's drink.

With her coffee in hand Jane began to walk back to her apartment, forcing herself to concentrate on the motion of her feet. It didn't work. Thoughts of Maura kept pushing their way to the front of her mind; the way her smile lit up the room, the way she laughed. The sound of her laughter was music to Jane's ears; nothing could compete other than when it was she who had made her laugh. Finally succumbing to fantasy, Jane imagined the two of them sat side by side on the sofa drinking wine, the blanket covering their knees. Maura would scoot along and rest her head on her shoulder and she would turn and tenderly kiss the top of her head. Maura would look up at her and then slowly, gently their lips would meet in a deep loving kiss. Jane had never considered herself to be a romantic but that was exactly what her fantasy scenarios were, romantic. Sure, they were sexual too but even that was romantic, far removed from her real life sexual experiences which had always seemed emotionless, mechanical even, serving only to temporarily scratch an itch.

Back at the apartment, a physically and emotionally exhausted Jane collapsed onto her bed closely followed by an excitable and very much awake terrier who proceeded to lick and fuss Jane.

_"__Ok, Ok, Jo! I'm awake see!" _The little dog frantically wagged its tail, bounced off the bed and ran to the door only to return seconds later to resume demanding her human's attention. Reluctantly, Jane dragged her heavy limbs off the bed:

_"__Cummon Jo, let's take you for your walk" _Jane said grabbing her phone from her bedside table and heading out once more.

* * *

The next morning Maura woke to the sound of her cell-phone beeping, slowly she sat up and stretched before reaching for her phone. She typed in her unlock code and discovered she had three new messages; two from Louise and one from Jane. Instinctively, she opened the one from Jane first: _hope u got home safe. I'll be over round 10. Cya then :) __J._ Maura cringed at the text, she wished Jane wouldn't use text talk and emoticons in her messages but she appreciated the sentiment, no one had ever worried about her safety as much as Jane did or had ever made her feel so safe and protected. She was pleased that Jane would arrive before Angela and the guys would, giving them some alone time to talk. Quickly she typed her reply: _I did, thank you. I'll see you at 10am_ and then she cautiously opened the first of Louise's texts. _I'm sorry, I was an ass. Let me make it up to you. _ It was time stamped 11.54pm and must have arrived, unnoticed as she was driving home from Jane's.

The second message had arrived around an hour later: _Maura? Are you awake? Can I call you? _Maura thought for a moment, she really did like Louise but her outburst was worrying. If she would go off like that so early in their relationship, how would she be if they became more serious? Getting out of bed and putting on her favourite silk pyjamas that she had neatly folded and placed on her chair before climbing into bed the night before, she went to make herself some espresso; sure the caffeine would help her to think more clearly. She had always prided herself on her independence and ability to keep an emotional distance from people; she'd been hurt and disappointed by people so many times growing up that she considered it the wisest course of action. That was until the Rizzoli's had taught her about family, friendship and love. Looking at the wall clock, she decided: talking to Louise wouldn't hurt, right!?

Louise answered the phone just as Maura was about to hang up.

_"Hello" _She said sleepily.

_"Hi, it's me. Did I wake you?" _Maura gently replied, recognising the not quite awake tone of her lover.

_"Maura! Yeah, you did, but it's ok. It's good to hear from you. I wasn't sure if I would"_ Louise was genuinely surprised and happy to hear Maura's voice on the other end of the line, she had been so certain that she had screwed everything up. She would have totally understood if Maura had never spoken to her again.

_"I'm sorry, I only got your messages this morning" _Maura told her truthfully, omitting the fact that it had taken her over an hour to decided whether of not to reply to them.

_"Oh…" _Louise paused, desperately needing to make things right with Maura but uncertain what to say, or how it would be received. When there was no reply from Maura she took a deep breath and just blurted out everything she needed to say. _"I really am sorry Maura. I totally overreacted. Of course it's your house and you can do whatever you want with it. It's just I didn't, don't understand. Who is she Maura? She's obviously more than just your friend's mom" _Maura was expecting the questions, but still didn't feel able to discuss her very complicated family situation with Louise. How exactly does one convey to a new lover that you are the daughter of the biggest mob boss in Boston, who gave you to the Isles' to adopt after telling everyone you had died at birth? Or that your adoptive family materially gave you everything you could possibly want but never the attention and love you craved? Or that you had only found that attention, acceptance and love when you had become friends with Jane, the woman you were secretly in love with? Or that your biological mother rejected you when she found out you were still alive until she needed to ask you to donate a kidney to your sister? Maura just couldn't open that whole can of worms, not yet anyway, so she did the only thing she knew how to do. She told the truth:

_"It's complicated and I will explain it to you, just not now. For now, can you please just accept that Angela means a lot to me? She may not be my mother, but she is like one to me, so her walking in on us was a big deal for me" _

Louise was silent for a few seconds. She knew she had hurt Maura by not supporting her and reacting so badly to Angela's presence and that she'd have to work hard to make thing right again and so she acquiesced to Maura's request. _"Ok, if that's what you want, I'll wait until you're ready and I'm really sorry, I should have been there, supporting you to tell her about us." _

_"Thank you." _Maura was relieved that Louise had been so understanding and hadn't pushed her to answer.

_"So we're ok?" _Louise asked tentatively.

_"Yes, I think we are"_ Maura told her, smiling to herself.

_"Then can I buy you dinner later?" _Louise asked hopefully.

_"Umm, no. I have a family thing planned today" _Maura told her, she didn't expect for anyone to leave much before 8pm and Jane would probably stay much later, maybe even overnight if she drank too much.

_"Oh…"_ Louise sounded disappointed.

_"But, I'm going to the Robber after work tomorrow with some friends, if you'd like to join us?" _Maura told her, her body immediately reacting to the lie. She had no such plans, as yet, but she did want her friends to meet Louise.

_"I'd love to." _She replied accepting the invitation readily. If Maura wanted her to meet her friends, then she must be comfortable about being with her.

Hanging up the phone, Maura still had some qualms but was happy with how their conversation had gone and with arranging to meet up with Louise again. All she had to do now was to tell her friends what she had arranged and why! Jane wouldn't be an issue, she knew that and Frost would be fine with it too. But Frankie and Korsak she wasn't sure about, although Frankie was likely to follow Jane's lead as he did in so many things and Korsak was so paternal with them all that she couldn't really envisage him reacting badly.

* * *

_"Dinner's ready" _Angela called from the kitchen; eliciting a surge of movement from the living room as Jane, Frankie and Frost eagerly fought their way up from the couch and dashed to the dinner table. _"You three are like big overgrown kids!" _Angela admonished _"and not one of you thought to turn off the TV!"_

_"Sorry Ma" _Jane and Frankie replied in stereo.

_"Ye, sorry Angela, I'll see to the TV." _Frost told her, turning back to the living room.

_"Thank you Barry" _She said with a smile.

The three detectives took their seats at the table, enthusiastically bickering about the soccer game they had just been watching.

_"That referee is blind!" _Frankie proclaimed. _"That was so a penalty, Ronaldo was tackled from behind!"_

_"You're the blind one little brother; that tackle clearly came from the side" _Jane argued.

_"How would you know? You were too busy checking out Ferdinand's ass" _Frankie taunted his sister, thankful that he was sat beside Frost, away from Jane's left jab. Even in play, his sister packed a punch.

_"Yeah, like you were checking out Ronaldo's" _Frost teased, laughing at the way his words made Frankie squirm in his seat.

_"That's enough!" _Said Angela as she placed the huge lasagne on the table.

_"That looks gorgeous Ma" _Jane told her, her mouth already watering at the sight of the delicious food. She didn't care what anyone said, her mom made the best dinners in Boston. Not even Maura's fancy frou-frou chefs could compete.

_"That looks gorgeous Ma" _Frankie mimicked, continuing the playful goading.

_"Thank you Janie. It always was your favourite." _Angela replied, giving Frankie a reproachful glare as Maura and Korsak placed the rest of the food onto the table and sat down. Once they were all seated and the food shared, the meal progressed in the usual jovial manner; the love this mismatched 'family' had for each other clearly evident. Maura had always been the quietest one at the table, content to soak in the atmosphere but today she was even more so; a fact that didn't go unnoticed.

Once everyone had finished eating, Maura collected up the plate and taking them to the kitchen, began to load the dishwasher. She was closely followed by Frost.

_"You ok Doc? You seem quiet today" _Barry asked with concern as he passed her the dirty plates.

_"Yes, thank you Barry, I'm fine. I've just got a few things on my mind." _Maura replied. She knew she had to ask her friends to meet with her tomorrow, as she had told Louise they were but hadn't managed to find the right time to do it yet. She'd been alone with Jane and Angela for hours before the guys had arrived and could easily have said something to Jane then but they had been so busy cooking and trying to get Jane to agree a date for her engagement shower she just hadn't said anything.

_"Anything I can help you with?" _Frost asked her in earnest, he would willingly help her in any way he possibly could and he didn't like to see her being so introspective.

_"No, I don't think there is." _She told him automatically and then paused reconsidering her answer. He was giving her the perfect opening that she had been looking for all day and of all the guys he would be the most understanding, just as he was with his own mother and her partner. _"Actually, there might be something." _She placed the last plate into the dishwasher and stood up. The small height difference between them meaning she could look directly into his eyes as she spoke.

_"What is it Maura? You know I will help you in any way I can." _He said, seeing that she would need a little prompting to say what was on her mind. He knew that she had never been one for opening up to anyone.

_"Well" _she began hesitantly; she still wasn't used to having this conversation and wasn't sure if she would ever get used to it. _"I have been seeing someone and I want to introduce you all to her. Would you like to come to the Robber after work tomorrow with us?" _If Frost was surprised by Maura's declaration, he didn't show it. He merely nodded and smiled at her, a gesture that she appreciated.

_"Sure Maura, I'd love to. I didn't know you'd been seeing anyone." _He told her, he was surprised that he hadn't heard that she had been seeing anyone. Usually Jane would have mentioned it immediately, wanting to check the guy's rap sheet or to do a background check on him. Maybe Jane didn't feel as protective of Maura when she was dating a woman? Or maybe Maura had kept it secret even from Jane?

_"It's only been a couple of weeks but….." _She paused and leant back onto the counter, trying to gather her thoughts.

_"You want our approval?" _He asked astutely.

_"Yes, I suppose I do" _She hadn't realised until Frost had asked her that that was in fact what she wanted, to know that her friends approved of her choice and thought it a good one. She knew she could rely on them to be honest with her and to tell her if she was making a huge mistake.

_"No worries Doc, I'll be there. Do the others know?" _

_"About Louise or about tomorrow?" _She asked.

_"Both." _He clarified.

_"Oh. Well Jane and Angela know about her but you're the first one I've asked about tomorrow. I'm going to do it now." _He could tell that she was still feeling uncertain; in need of support and some prompting to do what she obviously wanted to do.

_"Come on then, let's get this done" _He said as he walked to the refrigerator to retrieve their dessert.

_"Barry?" _She said quietly to his back and he turned to look at her once again.

_"Yeah" _

_"Thanks" _She smiled.

Maura and Frost returned to the table, bringing with them a huge platter of Angela's famous cannolis that was attacked by Frankie before it had even hit the table.

_"Francesco! Don't grab!" _Angela chided him.

_"Yeah Francesco, do as your Ma says" _Jane teased and Frankie reluctantly drew his hand away from the scrumptious desserts. When they were all seated and happily eating once again Maura took advantage of the silence and began to speak:

_"Erm… There's something I wanted to ask you all"_ She said and Frost nodded his encouragement. _"I would very much like it if you would all meet with me at the Dirty Robber tomorrow evening after work."_ Her nerves making her language more formal that it needed to be to invite friends to dinner.

_"Of course we will"_ Korsak told her confused _"But why the formal invitation?"_

Maura paused, and looked to Frost once more for support, which was freely given with a smile and an almost imperceptible nod. _"I want to introduce you all to my umm girlfriend" _She told them with a shy smile.

_"Your girlfriend? As in girlfriend girlfriend? Or a friend that is a girl?" _Frankie asked bewildered, his cannoli poised half way to his mouth. Sat on either side of her, the two Rizzoli women realised what she was doing and in unison reached out to take her hand. Maura's heart swelled with the love she felt for the two women and she smiled at them each in turn before turning back to Frankie.

_"Girlfriend girlfriend I suppose" _She told him, her voice barely audible.

_"Oh…Erm…Right…Erm…OK…" _Frankie stuttered, unable to think of what to say. He'd always suspected that the Doctor might be attracted to women; he'd seen how she would look at Jane sometimes but he had secretly hoped that maybe one day she'd look at him like that.

_"Frankie, whatever it is you're trying to say will you please just spit it out" _Jane told him harshly, the patented Rizzoli glare telling him that upsetting Maura in any way would mean his doom.

_"What time do you want us there?" _Korsak asked Maura simply, seemingly unfazed by knowledge.

_"I told Louise 6.30. Is that alright?" _Maura told them all as she continued watching Frankie, trying to gauge his feelings.

_"We'll be there Maura" _Frankie said, finally finding his voice.

_"Right, now we have tomorrow's dinner arranged, can we please sort out a date for your engagement shower Jane? _Angela asked in an attempt to give Maura a little breathing space and prevent her from being bombarded with questions. She knew that they would come, but Maura didn't need all of them to be asked at once as if it were some kind of interrogation from the four detectives.

_"I've told you Ma, we can't do it 'til Casey's home" _Jane snapped back. Her mother had been asking her for days to set a date for a party that she didn't even want to have. Why did getting engaged have to mean having a huge celebration?

_"And when's that exactly?" _Angela pushed. She didn't like didn't like his name. She didn't like the way he treat Jane; the way he'd pop up when it suited him, sweep Jane off her feet and then disappear again, leaving her hanging. The way he would let her down. The way he proposed and left. That was not what she wanted for her only daughter, she wanted her to be happy, settled, with someone who adored her and Casey was not that person. He just was not good enough.

_"Two weeks Ma. He'll be home in two weeks and you can have your party then" _Jane relented.


	8. Of Dusk and Dawning

**_A/N: My apologies for taking so long to update this. Life has been conspiring against me over the past couple of weeks, so if you're reading this, thanks for sticking by me! Hopefully, I'll now be able to go back to weekly updates, or thereabouts. _**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Of Dusk and Dawning**

Finally alone, Jane and Maura sat in the garden in comfortable silence basking in the beauty of the warm summer's evening. The vibrant blue sky was streaked with crimson and gold as the sun waned and Jane thought she had never been as content as she was now; any time spent with Maura had an inherent serenity as if her presence alone calmed her soul. She gave a gentle sigh and Maura turned to face her.

_"__You ok?"_ She asked

_"__Yeah, I was just thinking how beautiful and tranquil it is sat here tonight" _she sighed again and smiled lovingly at her best friend. Maura nodded her assent as Jane returned to her silent meditation. Jane's smile hadn't gone unnoticed by Maura, she knew every nuance of Jane's expressions, knew her tells, often better than Jane knew herself. And it was this that had Maura so confused. The things she said, the things she did and the flashes of emotion Maura saw in her friend didn't add up. Sometimes, like now, Jane showed such depth of emotion that she could almost think that Jane loved her, as she herself loved Jane. But then there were times, like the time they were sat in the car discussing Giovanni and Jane had asked if she wanted to sleep with her, when the idea of them being more than friends had seemed to mortify her. Yes, Jane was definitely an enigma; a charismatic, alluring enigma.

Throughout the afternoon, Maura had been bombarded with questions from her friends about Louise, which Maura had answered with her usual grace and decorum. But for Jane one question remained.

_"__So you guys made up then?"_ She asked breaking the silence.

_"__Yes, we spoke this morning for over an hour. She apologized for her behaviour and we cleared up a lot of things."_

_"__And you're happy with that?"_

_"__Yeah. This thing with Louise has been so fast, so intense, so narcotic. She makes me feel things I've never really felt before." _She wanted to add except when I'm with you but held back, certain that Jane wouldn't relish knowing the feelings she had for her. _"But I do still have some qualms" _she continued. _"I do have a tendency to be attracted_ _to a certain kind of personality"_

_"__You mean bad boys!" _It wasn't a question.

_"__Yeah, and I'm not sure that Louise is much different to the men I have chosen. Why is this so difficult Jane"_ She asked mournfully, her sorrowful tone eliciting in Jane an intense sense of protectiveness, a need to nurture that she didn't feel so acutely with anyone else.

_"__Why is what difficult?" _Jane asked.

_"__Relationships. Finding a mate. Finding love" _

_"__You have love Maur. You are loved, more than you know" _For the second time that evening Maura dared to hope that Jane loved her, a hope she immediately pushed aside. Jane did indeed love her, she knew that, but logic told her that she would never love her in the way she wanted her to, not in the way she loved Casey.

Maura raised her glass to her lips and was disappointed to find it empty. Reluctantly she moved from the comfortable wicker seat and the warmth of Jane's body beside her, the unexpected movement reclaiming Jane's attention.

_"__I'm going for a top up. Do you want another beer"? _Maura told her, pushing her hand into the pockets of her jeans; a gesture that was so typically Maura and that Jane found absolutely adorable. To her it showed the laid back rebel that resided beneath Maura's sophisticated, refined façade.

_"__I dunno, it's getting kinda late and I've still gotta drive home. Unless…." _She left the question hanging in the air, hoping that Maura would finish it for her. She was not disappointed.

_"__Unless, you stay here tonight. Your bedroom is already prepared and…" _Maura began awkwardly.

_"__My bedroom?" _Jane quizzed confused, not realizing she actually had a bedroom here. She'd certainly never heard the guest room being referred to as her room before.

_"__Yes, your bedroom. No one else ever uses it" _Maura wasn't entirely sure when the guest bedroom had become Jane's room, but that was exactly how she thought of it; Jane's room. Jane stayed in there so often and it contained so many of her things already, that Maura couldn't envisage allowing anyone else to sleep in there.

_"__Can I have wine, not beer?" _Jane asked implicitly accepting Maura's invitation.

_"__Of course" _Maura grinned as she went to fetch the wine from the refrigerator, happy in the knowledge that Jane would be close by all night.

By the time Maura returned carrying two glasses of cold white wine, night had truly fallen and Maura's breath caught at the sight of Jane illuminated by the moonlight. As the visceral thrill coursed through her body, Maura reproached herself and attempted to repress her feelings once again. She had thought that by entering into a relationship with Louise her desire for Jane could be redirected but her newfound experience had only served to increase her need. 'She doesn't want you, not in the way you want her. You have to get over this.' Maura reminded herself as she sat down beside Jane once more.

* * *

The next morning Maura had barely finished dressing when her cell phone rang; the sound echoing milliseconds later from the kitchen. They had a body to attend. Grabbing the slice of toast Jane that had made her, her doctor's bag and car keys she headed out. Jane reached the door first and opened it with a flourish:

_"__Mi lady" _She joked, bowing low, Maura giggled. This was a side of Jane that was rarely seen and Maura felt honoured to be one of the very few people who got to see beyond the irritable badass cop image Jane usually presented to world. _"Why thank you Sir Galahad"._

Twenty minutes later they arrived at a smart apartment in SoBo. Korsak greeted the women with a smile, unsurprised that they had arrived together despite the early hour.

_"__So what do we got? _Jane asked the older detective.

_"__Michael Henry, 27, was found dead at around 7am by his roommate. The roommate had just finished a nightshift at Boston Gen. and is giving a statement to Frost right now. It looks like a suicide but that's for you to rule Doctor."_

_"__Thank you Korsak" _Maura made her way up to the second floor apartment leaving the two detectives on the street below, waiting for further instruction. Until Maura had ruled the death as suspicious there was little they could do beyond what had already been done.

_"__Ya think it's a suicide then" _Jane asked, casually hooking her thumbs into the belt loops of her pants.

_"__Ye, looked like it to me. The guy had two empty med bottles beside him and a half empty bottle of JD on the coffee table. No signs of a disturbance or struggle. We'll be back in the office doing paperwork in no time"_

_"__Great" _Said Jane sarcastically, hoping that Maura would take her time examining the body and delay their return to the office; the opportunity to catch up on her paperwork was Jane's idea of a hellish Monday. She was out of luck, within minutes of their arrival Maura had finished her examination and left her techs to deal with transferring the body back to the morgue.

Back at HQ Jane sat at her desk, pensive and procrastinating. She was supposed to be preparing her testimony for an arson case she had dealt with several months previously which was to be heard in court later that week. Instead she found herself Googling Louise but other than her academic publications, came up with nothing. She surreptitiously glanced around the almost deserted bullpen before opening up the BPD database and typing Louise Murphy into the search bar. Nothing! Not even a parking ticket. Refusing to be deterred Jane ran all the background checks at her disposal on Louise but every time came up with nothing of interest.

_"__Damn it" _Jane said to herself aloud, too loud. Korsak looked up. _"What?" _He asked.

_"__Nothin'. I'm gonna get a coffee. You want anything" _Jane told him, ignoring the questioning look he gave her.

_"__No, I'm good thanks" _He said as he returned to the paperwork before him.

_"'__kay. Back soon"_

The rest of the day continued in the same slow, dragging fashion with no call out to attend and Jane was bored; bored and apprehensive, certain that the impending meeting with Louise would not go well. All day she wished for a call out to break the monotony of paperwork and distract her whirring brain; a wish that got stronger as each hour passed. By 4.30pm, with only a half hour to go until her shift ended, she was getting desperate. 'If we get a call now we won't have to meet her' she thought and immediately felt guilty for it. Maura was her best friend; she should be supporting her not trying to find a way out, even if finding a way out was exactly what she wanted to do.

* * *

Just after 6pm Jane, Frankie, Korsak and Frost piled into the Dirty Robber and grabbed a booth in the corner.

_"__Where's Maura?" _Frankie asked Jane as he surveyed the bar.

_"__Gone to collect Louise" _She told him.

_"__Right" _He nodded, wondering why Maura had to bring her rather that her meeting them there.

_"__What d'yas think of Maura seeing a woman?" _Korsak asked everyone and no one as he looked around the table.

_"__Dunno. I mean it's ok but I never expected it" _Jane said quietly and Frankie looked at her surprised:

_"__Really? I always thought maybe..." _He began, stopping short when he saw the murderous look upon his sister's face and looked to Frost for backup. Frost however was too amused with the direction the conversation was taking to consider jumping in to rescue his friend.

_"__Maybe what" _She challenged.

_"__Well, that maybe, but only maybe, you and her..." _Frankie suggested tentatively, still looking to Frost for some sign of support. They had often discussed the possibility of Maura and Jane being more than friends so he knew Frost wanted to know as much as he did.

_"__What? Why? Maura's my friend!" _Jane snapped angrily. If anyone else had suggested that she would have torn them to shreds. Frankie knew he should back down while his head was still firmly attached to his shoulders, but despite thirty-five years with Jane as a sister, he still hadn't learnt to do so and blundered on regardless. _"Yeah, but you're so close" _He stated.

_"__Of course we are, we're friends!" _Jane snapped at him.

Frankie said something in reply but Jane never heard it, all her attention had been taken by Maura, walking towards them with a tall, willowy brunette by her side. For a second Jane felt as if the air was made of treacle and she couldn't breathe. All the while Maura and Louise continued to walk towards her as if in slow motion; Louise wasn't the petite sophisticated blonde Jane had expected. She was, she was, just like her and Jane felt a part of her heart die at the realisation. Maura reached the table and began her polite introductions.

_"__Everyone, this is Louise. Louise these are my friends; Barry Frost, Vince Korsak, Frankie Rizzoli and Jane Rizzoli" _

_"__Hi" _Louise said smiling at them as she and Maura slid into the booth alongside Frost. _"Are you two a couple?" _She asked Jane who shared an incredulous look with Frankie, much to the amusement of Korsak and Frost.

_"__Ewwww, NO! He's my BROTHER!" _Jane said disgusted that anyone could ever mistake them for a couple. Any idiot with eyes could see they were siblings.

_"__Oh I'm sorry, I just thought, with you having the same last name..." _Louise tried to mitigate her mistake but was stopped in her tracks by the look of pure venom in Jane's eyes.

After the less than auspicious beginning, the evening continued to be awkward and Jane became increasingly cold and withdrawn, despite Louise's attempts to engage her in conversation. Frankie watched Jane with confusion; it was so out of character for her to be so rude, so belligerent and to drink so much.

_"__Did you always want to be a cop" _Louise asked, once again trying to engage Jane.

_"__I'm going to the bar" _Jane stated, ignoring Louise's question and abruptly standing and walking away. Frankie looked around the table and then, excusing himself, followed Jane.

_"__What the fuck Jane" _He hissed, standing close beside her.

_"__What?" _She snapped, glaring at him in a way that would make anyone other than her brother slowly back away.

_"__You know what! What is wrong with you?" _He asked roughly.

_"__Nothing's wrong with me. What's wrong with you? ...Oh, fuck this. I'm outta here!" _Jane spun around and stormed towards the exit without a backwards glance towards the booth containing her closest friends.

_"__Jane!?" _Frankie called after her, confused and a little angry about the way Jane had been treating Maura. She knew how important tonight had been to Maura and still she acted like a total asshole. Frankie looked back at the booth and shrugged, then ran after his sister. He had no idea what was going on, but he was determined to find out.

He quickly caught up with her and, grabbing her arm pulled her to a stop.

_"__Get off me" _Jane cried, wrenching her arm from his hand furiously.

_"__Jane, please. What's wrong. Talk to me." _Frankie asked gently, knowing that Jane would respond better if he was calm.

_"__I can't" _She said quietly, her voice breaking slightly with the misery that was beginning to replace her rage.

_"__Of course you can. I'm your brother. You can talk to me about anything." _He told her sincerely. They had always been close and he idolised her. Nothing she could say would ever change the way he felt about her.

_"__Did you see __**Her**__?" _She hissed with malice and pain.

_"__Who? Louise?" _

_"__Yes Louise! Who else would I be talking about?" _

_"__Ye, I saw her. And...?"_ Jane threw her hands up, annoyed with her brothers density. He was the one that had just implied that Maura and she had been a couple. Why could he not see why she was so upset? This woman looked so much like her, in her tight jeans and v-neck tee that it felt as if Maura had betrayed her, their friendship and the unspoken tie between them.

_"__She looks like me!" _She said, as if explaining to a child.

_"__Ye, she does a little. And...?" _Frankie was beginning to see the point Jane was making, but he wanted, needed her to tell him herself, for her sake as much as his.

_"__And Maura's fucking her!" _

_"__Yeah... and?" _He gently pushed her; she had already berated him for thinking there was anything between Maura and her this evening, he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

_"__For fuck's sake Frankie. __**She. Looks. Like. Me**__!" _

_"__You already said that! I don't see why it matters" _

**_"_****_IT MATTERS BECAUSE SHE'S NOT ME!" _**She yelled at him, then glancing around in embarrassment.

_"__Oh!...but you said..." _He faked surprise.

_"__It doesn't matter what I said. I'M FUCKING JEALOUS OK!" _Through gritted teeth Jane finally admitted to him and to herself the reason for her hurt and anger. Now it was out in the open, maybe they could begin to deal with it and Frankie pledged to himself that he would do all he could to help Jane. Those two belonged together and it was time that they both admitted it.

_"__OK. Does she know?" _He asked, certain the answer would be no. Jane had never been particularly adept at talking about her emotions.

_"__No, of course she doesn't know! Why would I ruin our friendship by telling her?" _She told him honestly. She had held these feelings for Maura for so long exactly because she was terrified of losing her friendship. Being friends was so much easier than admitting how she felt and Maura hating her for it, or so she had thought. The anguish she was feeling at this moment was worse than anything she had ever felt, not even being shot could compare.

_"__Hmmmmm..." _Frankie said pensively, quickly coming up with a plan of action. He reached out and touched her arm once more. "Wait here, l_et me go back and I'll tell everyone you're upset over that arson case, ya know 'cos of the baby and all. And then I'll take you home. OK?" _

_"__Ye, OK" _She smiled weakly.

_"__This is going to be alright Jane. We can deal with this." _He reassured her with a quick hug, and then turned back towards the bar.


	9. Making Waves

_**Chapter 9: Making Waves**_

Following Jane and Frankie's hasty departure, the evening lost its momentum, as if Jane were the linchpin of this small, mismatched group and very soon Korsak and then Frost made their excuses and left, leaving Maura and Louise alone in the booth.

"_Well that went well"_ Maura said with a smile. She was relieved that the evening had gone so well, even if had ended much sooner than Maura had anticipated and Jane had left so abruptly. Maura hoped she was OK and resolved to ring her as soon as she got home to check.

_"Yeah, your friends are nice and the guys seemed to like me." _She answered absently, playing with the damp, loosening label on her beer bottle. She didn't feel that the night had gone well, the guys were polite and friendly but she felt that their conversations had been forced, awkward. And Jane! Well Jane obviously did not like her; she'd made that very clear.

"_And Jane did too" _Maura told her, unsure who it was she was trying to convince. Jane's behaviour and body language that Maura was usually so adept at reading wasn't encouraging, however, she had no reason to disbelieve Frankie when he had told them that the case she was working on was the reason why Jane had acted so oddly.

_"Really Maura? Jane hated me!" _Louise reiterated, certain that Maura was merely humouring her. The signals Jane had sent out were anything but friendly.

_"No, she didn't. Jane gets like that sometimes when a case consumes her, especially if it involves a child as the one she's working on did"_ Maura defended her friend and technically, she was not lying. Jane did indeed get upset and withdrawn when a case involved a child, they all did. But why this particular case had affected her so badly Maura couldn't say. It had been a quick, easy case to solve with the father confessing almost immediately to setting the fire. He had wanted to win his estranged wife back by becoming the knight in shining armour that rescued her and their baby from the burning house, except the fire had burned too intensely, too quickly for him to be able to get into them and they had both perished.

"_Maura! If looks could kill I'd be laid out in your morgue right now. She hated me!" _Louise had seen the looks of hatred and jealously Jane had given her and the similarities in their appearances had not eluded her either. With this information she came to the only conclusion possible: there was something more than friendship between the two of them. Was that why Maura had been so loath to discuss her personal life with her? Maura had told her she had never been with a woman before, but she had been eager and a quick learner, maybe too quick? But what reason would she have to tell her that? Louise looked at her watch and pushed her thoughts of Jane aside, it wasn't even 8pm and the whole evening stretched out before them. She intended to make the most of it; what Maura may or may not have had with Jane wasn't important. That Maura was here, now, with her was what mattered. "_Anyhoo, it's still early, what shall we do now?" _Louise asked her, quickly changing the subject.

...

All through their drive home, Jane had been silent, lost in her thoughts and Frankie had left her to them. That she had told him this much already was a big deal for her, she didn't share her emotions easily and he knew that he had pushed her as much as he could, for now. But he wasn't going to let this drop. He hated seeing Jane hurting, especially when that hurt could so easily be fixed. He was certain that all it would take was honesty and a little bravery and Jane was the bravest person he knew; she'd even shot herself just to make sure he was safe and that Marino was apprehended. If he had to bolster her a little to make her realise that, then so be it.

As they entered Jane's apartment, Frankie and Jane were assaulted by an over excited scruffy ball of fluff. Jane knelt down and fussed the little dog before she realised that Frankie was there too and she changed her allegiance, abandoning Jane in order to pounce on Frankie. _"Hey, Jo! You traitor, come back!" _Jane laughed as her brother half-heartedly tried to fight off Jo's assault. That's better Frankie thought watching Jane laugh, as she restrained the animal to clip on the leash she had taken from it's hook on the wall. _"I'm gonna walk Jo." _Jane told him. _"Won't be long."_

With his stomach grumbling, Frankie opened Jane's refrigerator and, finding nothing in there apart from a mouldy piece of cheese and a few bottles of Peroni, he slammed the door shut. Wistfully, he thought of his own fridge, stocked with the left over lasagne and zite Ma had insisted he took home as he began searching for takeout menus. By the time Jane retuned, he had ordered Chinese food and was sat on her couch with a beer in hand; another sat on the coffee table waiting for her. Gratefully, she grabbed the bottle and threw herself down beside him causing some of the golden liquid to spill onto her hand. _"So..." _ He started uneasily, unsure how to progress.

_"So..." _She replied anxiously, not really wanting to get into this again, she had said too much already. And so they both slipped back into silence as they each played with the condensation on their bottles. Several minutes had passed before finally Frankie took the plunge and went in for the kill.

"_You need to tell her Jane" _He told her, without preamble. Despite his gentle tone, Jane reacted just the way he had expected her to, defensively.

_"No freaking way! She'd hate me if she knew and I can't risk that" _She snapped, aggressively pushing her hair back from her face. Why couldn't he see how big a risk it was to tell her, too big a risk and one she wasn't willing to take? It was so easy for him to say she should do it, but her friendship with Maura was too important to jeopardise like that, it was better that she just dealt with her emotions and pushed them deep inside, never to be seen again, because the pain she felt now would be nothing compared to how she'd feel without Maura in her life at all.

"_There's no way she'd hate you. Seriously Jane, you two are more like a couple than half the couples we meet." _Frankie tried to reason with his sister, wanting to add that she already was more of a couple with Maura than she had ever been with Casey. Or Dean. Or what's-his-name.

_"Don't be stupid, Frankie" _She replied snarkily before downing the dregs of her beer and placing the empty bottle onto the table with a thud.

_"I mean it." _He persisted. _"Sometimes the tension between you is so thick you could cut it. I'm sure she feels the same as you do." _He'd seen it, damn, half the department had seen it if all the 'are they, aren't they' speculations going around the station were any indication.

_"OK!" _She challenged_ "say you're right! Which you're not! But just say you are right, how exactly would me telling her how I feel help anything? She's with Louise. I'm with Casey. It's too late." _Jane mournfully admitted.

_"It's not too late. Neither of you are married!" _He insisted.

_"Yet...!" _She replied, realising for the hundredth time that weekend that she couldn't go through with marrying Casey.

Yesterday Maura had asked her why life and love was so difficult; she wished she had an answer. She had thought that by now she would have had a nice house, a husband and a kid or two. Instead here she was, 37 years old with nothing to show for her life except a crappy apartment and a scruffy rescue dog. Except that wasn't really all she had was it? She had a fiancé that she was beginning to realise she had merely settled for. And a best friend that meant the world to her. A best friend that in a perfect world would be the person she was marrying. She didn't love Casey enough to marry him; all this with Maura and Louise had proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt. The thought of losing Maura was infinitely more painful than anything she had experienced with Casey.

All the times that Casey had stood her up, had pushed her away, had left her stung her and it had hurt, badly. But that had quickly passed; a sting is just that, a sting: sharp, painful, fleeting. It was as if she expected it, wanted it even, as if the pain she felt proved her love for him. But that pain was nothing at all like the all encompassing, never ending, torturous ache that came with the mere thought of losing Maura. And that wasn't enough to build a marriage upon, especially one that would mean one or other of them giving up the career they had built up and adored. What would either of them be if they weren't a detective or a soldier? Their careers were what made them who they were.

She had to end it, to call off the engagement and that was another whole bag of emotional worms she wasn't sure she could face. But time was running out, he would be home from his latest tour in two short weeks and then there would be the party Ma was so excited about arranging. She was certain that her mother wouldn't be satisfied with stopping there, as soon as the party had ended, probably even during it, she would start talking about locations and bridesmaids and dresses and the whole thing would spiral more and more out of control. Her life was out of control and being swept away by a tsumami she couldn't hope to calm.

For hours Jane and Frankie talked, the conversation going around in circles; tell her! Can't tell her! Must tell her! Will tell her! Can't tell her! They talked themselves into exhaustion, until finally Jane decided she couldn't take anymore, she needed to sleep and so she asked Frankie to leave, promising him that she would consider it. And she would, obsessively.

...

Throughout the next week, and despite her long discussion with Frankie, Jane frequently vacillated. In her fantasies, she would tell Maura and they would fall into each other's arms, sealing their declarations of love with tender kisses that slowly became passionate. She would psych herself up and determinedly would seek out Maura, only to bail at the last moment. Each time she saw Frankie, he asked her the same thing: _"Have you done it yet?" _ And the cyclical argument would begin once again. Angela had spotted them whispering around the station or in the cafe so often, she began to wonder what they were plotting. Whatever it was, it seemed serious; Jane always looked so dejected, but she knew that if she asked either one of them, they would clam up, just as they had as children. So she continued to observe them from afar, confident that Frankie would take care of Jane for her. She was proud of her children for many, many things, but the way they stuck together and helped each other made her heart swell.

For Maura's part the week was going well. She had asked Jane numerous times what she thought of Louise and had finally accepted her assurances that Jane did indeed like her. Jane had no reason to lie and had had no qualms in the past about voicing her thoughts about her dates; thoughts that in retrospect she really should have listened to. Each evening she had spent time with Louise; their bond was quickly growing stronger and the passion that had initially brought them together continued to bloom as they got to know each other better; both in and out of the bedroom.

The weekend approached and Maura was scheduled to work and she disappointedly found herself wishing that she had this weekend off, just as she had the one before. Before the Rizzolis came into her life, she would never have had such a thought but now her life outside of the morgue was so vibrant, so full she lamented the family time she would be missing out on. Pensively, she wondered what would happen to that relationship when Jane married Casey. Would she still be welcomed, wanted? Or would she be rejected and abandoned once again, just as experience told her she would be.

...

Saturday night came and Maura finished work late having been called to a crime scene on Carson Beach. All she wanted to do after her full day was unwind with a glass of wine and some good company. While she walked to the BPD garage to collect her car, she rang Louise. As Maura had anticipated, Louise eagerly accepted her suggestion of having a night relaxing together in front of her TV. She had not had a night at home since Sunday and she was exhausted. For many people, being out and socialising was invigorating, but not Maura, she had always preferred to be at home away from the bustle that came with people.

When Louise knocked on the door sometime later, Maura had already showered and changed into her yoga pants and tank top and had tied her hair into a loose, casual bun. The time she had spent on the beach had caused the skin on her arms, chest and face to explode with a million golden freckles which stood out against the soft white material of her top. Maura hated how easily her pale skin reacted to the summer sun, wishing instead for Jane's olive skin which tanned so easily, and without freckling! Inviting Louise into the kitchen, Maura began making them some tea while Louise sat at the breakfast bar and watched. She thought that she had never seen such an enchanting sight as this petite, freckled beauty flitting around her kitchen in bare feet, chatting unselfconsciously about her day.

As Maura turned, she saw Louise watching her and blushed. _"You're watching me!" _she said softly.

_"I know, I can't help it. You are stunning." _Louise told her breathlessly before moving around the breakfast bar and scooping Maura into her arms and holding her tight. Melting into the embrace, Maura raised her head and kissed Louise's soft full lips, while her hand snaked its way under Louise's shirt, feeling the hot, smooth skin below. Immediately, she felt the unmistakeable tightening of her womb as her desire overtook her. She pulled away from Louise and taking her hand led her to the bedroom, all thoughts of tea forgotten.

Maura pushed Louise onto the bed forcefully and straddled her hips. She gripped the lapels of Louise's teal cotton button-down and grinned. _"Shall I?" _She teased, pulling the edges apart, the buttons strained at the pressure. _"Hmmm?"_ She raised an eyebrow in query_ "No?" _and Maura released the now crinkled material and languorously set to work opening the fastenings one by one. Louise pushed herself up as Maura pulled the shirt from her arms and irreverently threw it across room. Louise's grey linen pants and Maura's tanktop followed soon after. Louise grabbed Maura's waist and pulled them to the centre of the bed.

Side by side their bodies entwined, moving as one, lips and teeth meeting sensitive flesh, soft hands caressing satin smooth skin. Louise's hand snaked its way over voluptuous hips and upwards to rest on a trim waist, resisting the insistent urge to seek out Maura's searing core. Despite her bodies insistence to the contrary, she was in no rush, they had all night and she was determined that they would both enjoy every second. But Maura was on fire, the pure unadulterated lust she felt for this woman threatened to consume her. True she wasn't Jane and despite certain physical similarities, they were nothing alike. But she couldn't have Jane, she had resigned herself to that fact and so she threw herself into the raging fire, certain that it would soon burn out. That kind of passion always did.

Sensing Maura's growing need, Louise relented and thrust two fingers into Maura's welcoming cavern, eliciting a feral moan from Maura at the intrusion. With her eyes closed, she focused on every minute movement of the fingers within her, the skin sliding against her own, and the small, firm breast in her hand. Every nerve in her body had awakened; every fibre of her being vibrated as she raced towards release. Louise dipped her head, taking a granite nipple between her teeth. _"Mmmmm, Jane"_ Maura whispered. Immediately, Louise ceased all movement and looked up at Maura.

In confusion Maura opened her eyes._ "Why'd you stop"_ she asked.

_"Jane! You called me Jane!"_ Louise told her, her voice shaking.

_"No! Why would I call you Jane?"_ Maura replied, the flush of desire upon her chest camouflaging the urticaria she could already feel disseminating over her skin. Slowly Louise withdrew her fingers and sat up.

"_I ought to go"_ she said, beginning to retrieve her clothes that lay scattered around the bedroom floor. _"I have to be up early tomorrow."_

"_Louise..."_

"_I'll talk to you later Maura"_ she said as she walked out of the door. Maura considered calling her back, to apologise. Instead she merely sat, her knees held tight to her chest. How did that happen? In that moment she hadn't even been thinking of Jane. She hadn't even realised that she'd said anything at all.

"_Fuck!"_ She said aloud as the front door slammed shut. _"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Well that's a new way to screw up a relationship Maura." _

...


	10. A Day Like Any Other

Chapter 10: A Day Like Any Other.

Maura awoke with a start; the room was drenched in the brightness of the early morning sun, she raised her arm to protect herself from the blinding light and groaned hitting the snooze button on her alarm. Maura had always been a morning person, but not today. Today it was just too early and she teetered on the precipice of sleep, in the place of infinite, enveloping warmth. The place where she didn't have to think of anything, most especially the chaos of the night before and the pain she had inadvertently caused Louise. The sound of her alarm broke the silence once more until, with her eyes still closed, Maura reluctantly dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom.

With searing water flowing down her back, she remembered the euphoria she had felt stood here, in this shower after her first night with Louise just a few short weeks before. So much had happened in that time it felt like it was a lifetime ago. And maybe it was. Maura knew she was a whole different person now to the one that had stood here on that morning; experience had a way of doing that to a person. But today she felt very different; today she felt embarrassed, ashamed and guilty. The hurt she had heard in Louise's voice last night as she said she'd call her pulled at Maura's heart. She liked Louise; she truly did and would never intentionally hurt her but, by trying to deny her feelings for Jane that was exactly what she had done. There was no going back from this, she knew that, and even if there was, she wouldn't want to; her yearning for Jane obviously ran far too deeply for her to be able to placate it with anyone else.

Wrapped in her soft, white towel Maura began to dress for the day. Looking in her huge closet, she selected a plain black pencil skirt and a dark green satin blouse. As was so often the case with her, she had chosen clothes that matched her mood; dark and sombre, despite the promise of another glorious summer's day. She hoped that, unlike yesterday, she would be able to spend the whole day in the cool, air-conditioned morgue. Finally dressed, with her hair pinned away from her face and minimal make-up, she returned to her bedroom to collect the cell phone that sat upon her dresser.

With trepidation, she unlocked the screen and gave a sigh of relief. She had no notifications of any kind: no messages, no emails, and no missed calls. She considered calling Louise, but for once words eluded her and she had no idea what she should say: "I'm sorry I screamed someone else's name", "I'm in love with someone else" or "I thought I could do this but I can't". There was nothing she could say that wouldn't sound shallow and hurtful; how could she explain that it was herself she had been trying to fool and not Louise. That Louise had merely gotten caught up in her attempts at self-denial and for that she was truly sorry. Deciding she would have to think on it some more, she left for work, certain it was going to be a long, long day.

Sunday in BPD was a hive of activity, just like any other day of the week and the forensics section was no different. Maura strode through the labs with her head held high and her back straight, exuding an air of confidence she did not feel. She glanced around at the techs, all of whom were diligently engrossed in their work and Maura felt a surge of pride for her team. They were the best and she could rely on them to fulfil their roles to the exacting standards she insisted upon. No matter how bad she felt, this place always bolstered her and gave her purpose; it was her sanctuary. Here everything was clear, everything made sense, everything was rational and empirical. Here she was understood and could trust her own judgement.

Maura sat at her desk and booted up her computer, as she watched the small, spinning blue circle she thought of Jane and how her laid back, relaxing Sunday would go. It was just after eight, so Jane had probably just woken up, and Maura shuddered at the thought of the instant coffee she was probably drinking right now. Soon she would be dressing and taking Jo to play ball on Boston Common. Then she'd be going to help Angela with the Sunday lunch Maura would miss out on, and maybe she'd stop at Boston Joe's for some real coffee along the way. Then she'd spend the rest of the day laughing and playfully squabbling with her mother and brothers. Maura hoped that Angela would save her some food and that Jane would still be there when she got home so they could chat and relax together, that at least would rescue Maura's day.

Jane's day, however, was far from the idyllic experience that Maura's fantasised about it being. The days until Casey's return were hurtling downwards and Jane was a mess. She was not adept at dealing with her emotions at the best of times and here she was with not one but two huge emotional problems to contend with. And Frankie really was not helping, he thought he was and she loved him for it, but she needed space to decide on a plan of action, and soon! For what felt like the millionth time since she had confessed her feelings for Maura to him, Frankie pulled Jane aside, away from their mother's prying ears. This time however, Jane snapped pouring all her frustration and confusion into a single diatribe: _"Goddamn it Frankie! This isn't as easy as you seem to think it is! It's not as simple as telling Maura how I feel about her, as if that's even simple. There's Casey too! Did you even consider him all these times you've been badgering me! Do you honestly think I can go to Maura, declaring my love for her when I'm engaged to Casey? Well? Do you?" _

"_I'm sorry Janey, you're right, I never even thought of him." _He said leaning against the garage door. _"He just never...I mean, he was never around enough for me to..." _

"_You didn't think I'd actually marry him did you?" _She asked shocked at the realisation that Frankie hadn't considered Casey at all in all of this and the implication that her family didn't consider Casey as a permanent fixture in her life that that omission suggested. Frankie didn't know how to react to the question and took a second to think through what he could say without upsetting Jane any further.

"_No. He's not right for you, never was. I never even expected things to get this far between you." _He finally admitted. While ever Jane had been with Casey and he had thought that he was making her happy, Frankie hadn't wanted to speak his mind about him. But he really didn't like the guy. He treat Jane like crap and she changed so much when he was around, not in a good way either and he was sure that Jane would see the light much sooner than she had. When she had told him that she was going to marry him, he was absolutely dumbfounded, but it was his job to support her, so he said nothing. However, he knew he wasn't the only one who had their doubts over Casey; Angela and Maura certainly did, but neither would ever say so either. Jane's happiness was too important to them all.

"_Me either" _She conceded. _"So, you see, I need to deal with him first. And I'm not sure what's harder. Telling him I can't marry him. Or telling her..." _Frankie reached out and pulled Jane into a tight hug, which, no matter how much she squirmed, she could not escape from. _"gerroff, you idiot" _she grumbled. He kissed the top of her head and released her, for which he was rewarded with a jab to the shoulder and they both walked back into the house, the conversation temporarily forgotten once more.

* * *

At six o'clock, as her shift ended, Maura hurried back to the parking garage to retrieve her car. Along the way she typed and sent a text message to Jane letting her know she was on her way home. She desperately hoped Jane would say she was waiting for her, as she almost always did on the Sunday's Maura had to work. Today she needed Jane's friendship more than ever, she needed to talk to her and to just be with her. She knew she couldn't tell Jane why Louise and she had fought, but she was certain that she wouldn't need to. Jane would be there for her, would listen to her and would support her regardless. Almost immediately she received a reply and she smiled 'Ma's warming ur dinner n I've saved u a beer. Cya soon.'

When she arrived home she was surprised to find that Jane was watching TV, alone. Maura was hit by the obvious domesticity of the situation, as if she was coming home to find her partner waiting for her and she had to fight back the urge to say 'Hi honey, I'm home' the way they would in a cheesy movie. Hearing the door open, Jane looked around at Maura, the pleasure she felt at seeing her friend shone from her face.

"_Hey Maura, Ma says to tell you your dinner's in the oven waiting for you" _Jane said as she flicked off the TV and jumped up from the couch. Maura looked around wondering where Angela was, after Jane's message she expected to see her pottering around the kitchen.

"_Ok, Thanks. Where is Angela?" _Maura asked as she headed straight to the oven that was emitting such a glorious aroma that her mouth was already watering in anticipation. She hadn't felt like eating at lunchtime and had realised just how hungry she actually was.

"_Got a date with Cavanaugh" _Jane told her, her tone conveying her continued disgust at the idea of her mother dating anyone, most especially her Lieutenant. _"How was your day? Did I miss any interesting cases?" _She asked quickly changing the subject before Maura had a chance to give her a lecture about how her mother was an attractive single woman and it was to be expected that she would find a partner. Or how Cavanaugh wasn't a bad choice for her and at least Jane knew she could trust him. Blah, blah, blah!

"_It was slow. There were no major deaths that demanded my attention so I spent much of my day doing paperwork." _She replied as she served herself a generous helping of Angela's cannelloni and salad, poured herself a glass of iced water and sat at the breakfast bar.

"_Boring" _Jane sat down beside Maura and faked a loud yawn, she could think of nothing worse than being confined to the desk all day, especially on a sunny, warm Sunday.

"_On the contrary, after spending the whole of yesterday afternoon and evening down on Carson Beach, it was quite a relief to spend the day inside." _Jane pulled a face, incredulous that anyone, even Maura, would rather spend a day in the office than out in the field. Maura paused while she delicately ate a small piece of pasta. Jane watched her every movement, how her tongue poked out slightly as she place the food into her mouth, how she ran her tongue over her lip, the look of pure pleasure on her face at the taste, the movement of her jaw as she chewed, and Jane was captivated by the pure eroticism of this simple act. _"Actually" _Maura continued tentatively _"it gave me an opportunity to think through a few things."_

"_Yeah, what?" _Jane asked, forcing herself to breathe and look away from Maura for a second, while she tried to get herself together.

"_I don't want to go into details, but I've decided not to see Louise anymore" _She admitted trying to make eye contact with Jane, who inexplicably seemed to be trying to avoid her gaze. Jane felt a surge of triumph spread through her veins and she was sure she was grinning like a crazy woman; one of the obstacles blocking her way to Maura had been removed! She finally managed, to control herself enough to be able to look at Maura:

"_Why? What happened? I thought you two were getting on well?" _She asked, the pained look in Maura's eyes, quickly bring her back to earth with a crash. Maura was obviously upset by her decision and Jane felt like a selfish ass for being so pleased that the relationship had ended.

"_I don't want to talk about it Jane. But I did something really stupid which upset her and she left." _Maura told her as she pushed her dinner around her plate and effectively managing answering Jane's question with the least possible information. She knew that if she said she didn't want to talk about it, Jane wouldn't push her, for which she felt enormously grateful. Between her inability to lie and Jane's interrogation skills, she would have been doomed if Jane did want to push the conversation.

"_Did she hurt you?" _Jane quizzed protectively, her detective's instincts immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusion and determined that if Louise had she would suffer for it. Nobody hurt Maura and got away with it, too many had already tried for Jane's liking and if she had anything to say about it no one would ever do so again.

"_No, of course not! But, still..." _She sighed ruefully, wishing that she could fully share what had happened with Jane but if she did that, she would have to admit her ever strengthening feeling for her and she was certain that doing so would irretrievably damage their relationship. Maura acutely remembered the pain she had felt during those few weeks that she and Jane were not talking after Paddy had been shot. No matter that she was the one to instigate the fight; every day without Jane's friendship was a torture that was almost too much for her to bear and she was not prepared to risk going there again. She would find a way to get over this thing, without anyone else getting hurt.

"_Are you Ok" _Jane asked empathically, knowing from experience how hard breakups were regardless of who did the actual breaking and how Maura struggled to deal with emotional pain. If she wasn't careful, Maura was likely to go on another manic internet shopping spree. The shoes Jane could deal with, Maura would wear them and Jane had to admit that Maura's choice in shoes made her legs look amazing. But if she started buying snorkelling gear or dresses that double as plate, then there was a definite problem and Jane would much rather it didn't get to that.

"_Yeah, I just need to work out what to say to her." _She replied honestly, it was true that she felt bad about how she'd obviously hurt Louise, but she wasn't at all upset. She hadn't planned for any of this to happen and for once had allowed herself to get dragged along in the current, but now it was over and she could return to reality.

"_It's best to be honest Maur" _Jane told her gently, echoing the words Frankie had been saying to her all week and feeling like the world's greatest hypocrite for it; she was the last person that should be giving Maura advice when she herself kept procrastinating. Maura picked up her plate of now cold, half eaten Cannelloni and scraped it into the waste disposal. She began to fill the sink with soapy water and Jane silently grabbed a tea towel, once again slipping into a wordless domesticity neither woman noticed.

Once Jane had gone home, Maura continued to put off calling Louise. She had considered taking the easy way out and emailing her, but she decided that that was inappropriate and unseemly and Louise deserved to be treat better than that. She deserved a proper explanation from Maura, it was the least that any decent person would do and Maura wanted to do the right thing. However, the right thing was proving to be very difficult to actually do. Eventually, she decided that she should just go to bed and sleep on it; Louise had said she would call her after all.

Maura was just drifting off to sleep when her phone beeped. In the darkness, she rolled over, reached for the device and with blurry eyes read the three simple words the message contained:

I need you...


	11. New Life

_A/n: You can call me Sam Beckett... Putting right what once went wrong..._

**Chapter 11: New Life**

Maura rubbed her eyes and re-read the message, her chest constricting with panic at the three small words. She jumped out of bed and went to her closet where she pulled on a pair of old, worn trainers and a baggy black cardigan that tied around the waist to cover her purple silk pyjamas. Running her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth her curls, she headed for the front door. It had barely been five minutes since she had received the message, but those five minutes felt like a lifetime. She had to leave, now!

All through her journey across town, Maura felt like the world was passing by her in a blur, nothing mattered other than reaching her destination as soon as she possibly could. She was needed and so, no matter what she would be there, nothing in the world could stop her. At the apartment block, Maura ran up the stairs two at a time. As she left the stairwell and rounded the corner to apartment 12, Frankie appeared and she had to stop sharply, barely missing crashing into him. He grabbed her elbows to steady her:

"_Whoa there Doc"_ he said, making sure she was stable before releasing her.

"_Is she alright?" _She blurted out, oblivious to their near collision, the only thing on her mind being the message she had received barely a half hour before and the fact that Jane needed her.

"_You need to talk to her" _He told her gently, unwilling to tell her what was happening. The situation he had stumbled into was just too important for him to interfere in. He hoped that this would be the catalyst that Jane needed and with the doctor's sudden appearance, it would seem that was indeed the case.

When Maura let herself into Jane's apartment a few seconds later, Jane was sat at the breakfast bar staring at her laptop deep in thought. The email from Casey she was reading and rereading was the perfect out she was looking for and as much as that was what she wanted, the actuality of it all hurt. The whole day had been awful, except for the few bitter sweet hours she had spent alone with Maura. She felt the sting of impending tears and she fought them back; Jane Rizzoli did not cry. Nothing that had happened since she had returned to her apartment that night was going to make her cry, she would not let it. When she heard her door open, she had thought it was Frankie returning, despite her insistence that he should leave her and that Maura was on her way to be with her. That Maura hadn't replied didn't matter.

"_Jane?"_ Maura said quietly not wanting to startle her friend who had obviously not heard her come into the room. _"What are you doing?"_ Jane looked up slowly and gave Maura a wan smile, she knew she'd come, without question, without need for explanation, that all she needed to do was tell her she needed her and she'd be there. And here she was, stood in her home with a look of panic, concern and affection etched on her face, that had Jane been thinking clearly she may have taken to be love.

"_Read it"_ Jane told Maura as she walked away and towards the bathroom, where another possible problem sat in the sink, awaiting her attention. Frankie's arrival half an hour earlier, shortly after she had sent the message to Maura, had prevented her from checking it sooner. Maura did as Jane had asked her and began to read aloud the short email before her:

_Hey baby, I wasn't expecting this to be so hard. I don't know who I am if I'm not a soldier. They want me to command a battalion in the Balkans. There's room for my wife. Please come Jane, please._

Maura was struck by the coldness of the message, apart from the hey baby, there were no endearments, no apologies, no symbolic kisses, no I love yous, nothing! He hadn't even personalised his signature which remained the stock automatic one. Maura seethed with anger over the man's arrogant egotism and pure cowardice; presuming that such a heartlessly flippant email would get Jane to abandon everything she held dear and run to him.

Maura looked up to find Jane stood before her and Maura's heart broke at the sight. Jane Rizzoli, her brave, strong, proud and beautiful Jane reduced to the small, broken shell in front of her. How she hated Casey in that moment. Jane deserved better than that, better than him. Jane deserved to be treated like she was the centre of the universe, by someone who would be there for her no matter what; someone like her.

"_I'm not going. I'm not going to marry him."_ Jane said mournfully.

"_I'm so sorry" _Maura replied in earnest. Above all else she wanted Jane to be happy, even when she thought that happiness would destroy her.

"_Yeah me too, I'm not going to leave everything and follow him around the world." _She explained, fiddling with the small plastic stick that was hidden in her hands. Maura immediately noticed the action, at first she thought Jane was merely wringing her hands, as she was so wont to do when she was stressed, until she noticed a brief flash of white and she realised Jane was holding something.

"_What's in your hand?" _She asked curiously.

"_I think I'm pregnant"_ Jane replied her voice breaking. She thrust the little plastic strip at Maura, her panic beginning to overwhelm her _"tell me I'm wrong Maura. Please, tell me it's wrong"_

"_How long is it since you took this test?" _Maura asked; she knew that the results would only be accurate for a short space of time. If she had left it too long before reading the results the test would be ruined and the result skewed. But Jane wasn't listening, her anxiety had finally gotten the better of her and she began to babble.

"_Please Maura; it's got to be wrong. Tell me these things can be wrong" _She pleaded with Maura, her voice tight with panic and need.

"_Ok, Jane, calm down please. Jane!" _Maura tried to reason with Jane and taking her hand to reclaim her attention, before slipping into the most reassuring thing she knew; facts. _"Pregnancy tests rely on the presence of the hormone hCG, which is a glycoprotein that is secreted by the placenta shortly after fertilization and are 99% accurate, so false positive is possible, but not likely." _She explained precisely. Jane only heard the last part of Maura's explanation and grabbed onto the 1% chance it could be wrong. She couldn't be pregnant. There had to be a mistake; she and Casey had always been so careful.

"_But you can tell me! You can find out for sure" _She demanded, if anyone could tell her it was Maura.

"_I don't know if I can Jane"_ She placed her hands onto Jane's arms and pulled her in for a tight hug. Jane remained tense, stiff at the embrace and continued babbling, pleading.

"_There's gotta be something you can do, with all that equipment you have! What about an x-ray or something" _She asked in desperation.

"_If you are pregnant, that's incredibly dangerous Jane." _Maura cautioned.

"_Fine, what about that ultrasound thingy?" _She asked, finally beginning to think clearer as Maura's touch and unique scent began to calm her. Maura thought for a second, quickly doing the math. It was three weeks since Casey had left, so she would be able to see some signs of pregnancy if there were any. But, the bleeding Jane had experienced made a viable pregnancy unlikely.

"_That would work; we would at least be able to see a gestational sac" _She admitted cautiously.

"_Cummon then, what are we waiting for?" _Jane demanded, pulling out of Maura's arms and attempting to drag her to the door, but Maura resisted

"_Jane, we can't use..." _

"_Maura, I need to know!" _Jane pushed, fixing Maura with a look that bore no arguments. Jane was not going to back down, she needed to do this. Now!

"_Ok"_ Maura conceded, tugging her hand from Jane's and moving to the sink. There she filled a glass with water from the faucet and thrust it at Jane _"Drink this"_ she instructed, then grabbed a bottle from coke fridge. _"And this" _

"_What the hell Maura!" _Jane asked, perplexedly holding a beverage in each hand. Didn't Maura understand there was no time for this?

"_The ultrasound is easier to read if your bladder is full" _Maura explained gently.

"_Oh"_ Jane acknowledged and lifted the glass to her lips.

"_So you drink that. I'll change. Then we'll go. Ok?"_

It was almost midnight by the time Jane and Maura arrived at BPD and the morgue was deserted, its skeleton staff nowhere to be seen and the rooms echoed with the gentle humming of the air-conditioning unit. Feeling like a naughty schoolgirl, sneaking around after lights out Maura led Jane towards one of the morgues examination rooms, the lights flicking on to light their way as they walked. _"Wait here" _She told Jane quietly, uncertain of why she was whispering, no one would question her presence here, regardless of the time of day or night. Without replying, Jane sat upon the cold, sterile stainless steel bench before her and watched Maura leave the room.

When Maura returned, dragging a portable ultrasound machine behind her, she locked the door and pulled the blinds, affording them some privacy.

"_Should I undress or something?"_ Jane asked.

"_No, that's not necessary. Just unfasten your pants and lay back." _Jane did as Maura had instructed and the harsh cold of the bench stinging her back making her suck in her breath sharply. _"I'm sorry" _Maura said as she realised how uncomfortable the bench must be and she turned to leave once more. _"Let me get you a blanket to lay on." _

"_No! It's fine Maura. Please, let's just do this!" _Maura nodded and slipped Jane's pants lower on her hips, exposing the top of black underwear. She picked up a small bottle of gel. _"This'll be cold" _She told Jane as she opened it and poured a generous blob onto Jane's abdomen. Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if the test was going to hurt her. When Maura pressed the sensor onto her stomach and began to move it around, it was uncomfortable and Jane was afraid she would accidently pee herself from the pressure. After what seemed like forever Maura spoke:

"_You're definitely pregnant Jane, look!" _Jane's reluctantly opened her eyes and nervously looked at the screen.

"_I'm no obgyn, but you appear to be around 8 weeks pregnant. That's its heart you can see beating. That's the brain cavity. And there's the elbows, hands and feet" _Maura told her pointing out the obvious parts of the small kidney bean shaped foetus. Jane stared at the fuzzy images, uncertain of how she should be feeling. She had heard so many women talk about their overwhelming joy they had felt on seeing their baby for the first time, but all she felt was numb.

"_Do you want me to print this for you?" _Maura asked her.

"_No!" _Jane replied quickly, too quickly, incredulous that Maura would even ask her.

"_Ok, are you sure?" _Maura questioned. The horrified stare Jane gave her told her the answer and she removed the sensor from Jane's skin and wiping it clean, placed it back onto the cart. With Jane still laid on the bench, tense and shocked, Maura began to wipe the conductive gel off her stomach. Gently she placed her hand onto Jane's hard abdomen and froze, staring at it. She felt totally overwhelmed. Jane was pregnant with Casey's baby. But she wasn't going to marry him and she dared to hope that her dream of them being a family would now come true. Images swam through her mind: of herself holding Jane in her arms, while a tiny dark haired infant suckled at Jane's breast; of a little girl giggling as she and Jane each held a hand and swung her between them. She could have this! Jane raised herself onto her elbows and the feeling of Jane's tight muscles contracting beneath her hand pulled Maura from her fantasy. In silence, the two women gazed at each other in shock and awe, with Maura's hand still laid upon her friend, until they both spoke at once:

"_I'm pregnant!"_

"_You're pregnant!"_

"_What are we going to do?" _Maura asked sincerely, fully aware of her choice of pronoun; she hoped that Jane would pick up on it too and hoped that with it, Jane would understand she was not alone in this.

The journey back to Jane's apartment was silent, each woman lost in her own thoughts. For Maura Jane's pregnancy was a chance, an opportunity for her to have what she'd always secretly dreamed of having; a family of her own. If only Jane would be open to such a relationship. And even if she wasn't, with Casey out of the picture Jane would need someone to support her, to help her and Maura knew that she would always be Jane's first choice. Tonight had proven that she was the one that Jane relied upon in times of need and Maura would always be there for her, in whatever way she wanted her to be. Jane however, couldn't think any further than 'I'm pregnant', 'I have a life growing inside of me'. That alone was such a momentous thing for her to get her head around; she hadn't even begun to consider the implications of being pregnant, or even how she felt about it. All she knew was she didn't want Maura to leave her side.

As Maura parked her silver Prius outside of Jane's apartment block, Jane reached out and touched her hand, gently claiming her attention for a second. _"Maura?" _She asked tentatively.

"_Mmmm?"_ Maura replied as she concentrated on reversing into the tight parking space.

"_Will you stay here with me tonight? I don't want to be alone" _Jane admitted, knowing that the request wouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness.

"_Of course I will. If that's what you want me to do."_ Maura accepted the invitation gratefully. She hadn't wanted to leave Jane in the condition she was in, but was wary of suggesting that she stayed in case she was rejected. She knew how much strength it took for Jane to admit to any vulnerability and that her instinct was generally to push everyone away.

"_Thank you. I mean thank you for everything, not just staying with me." _Jane said quietly, her voice full of emotion.

"_I know" _Maura said leaning over the console and lightly kissing Jane's cheek. _"And you don't ever have to thank me. I'm always here for you"_


End file.
